some people say that the essence of any relationship is the relationship between yourself and yourself.

Marriage is no exception.

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the so-called business marriage is not run by two people, but by themselves.

in a marriage, no one is the savior

best-selling author meiya once told such a story in her book.

Keiko, who graduated from an ordinary university, went to Shanghai to look for a job. due to the great pressure of employment competition, she did some hard and low-paying jobs.

in order to save money, she had to rent a shabby cubicle with her female colleagues. One bathroom for eight people. Keiko can't stand such a messy living environment.

in order to escape from this life, she married a sales executive who was eight years older than herself.

as she became pregnant and gave birth to a child, she, who was unwilling to work hard, became a housewife with peace of mind.

she naively believes that marriage can improve her poor living conditions and that her husband can provide her with comfortable and stable living conditions.

I never thought that after marriage, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law occurred frequently, coupled with the husband's lack of understanding and the hardships of parenting, Keiko's situation was even more difficult than when she first entered the workplace.

she wants a divorce, but without a job or financial resources, she has no confidence at all.

"the first half of my Life" says:

No one will be the safe haven in this life as you think. Only you are your last refuge.

Marriage has never been a relationship between saving and being saved. Taking marriage as a refuge and placing one's happiness on the other half is doomed to be a disaster.

because no one can take full responsibility for your happiness.

in the program "A date with Luyu", Yi Nengjing talked about the reasons for her divorce from Harlin. She said:

in my previous marriage, I seemed to have caught a driftwood, and I wanted him to solve all the sufferings of my native family and my confused relationship with the industry.

but why? he is not your doctor. They are here to fall in love with you and find a wife, not to cure you.

Marriage, in the final analysis, is just that we have changed our identities and live with ourselves.

whether men or women, if they can not live a good life, they will not have the ability to live a good life with others.

if you always want to save yourself by marriage, you will eventually fall into the pit of marriage, and it will be yourself who will suffer in the end. After all, there is no happiness, a happiness, than their own gift, more long-term and reliable.

instead of treating your partner as your savior, take the time to become stronger.

do not please, do not rely on, be your own sun and illuminate your life.

to get married is to live with one's shortcomings

some people say: "to fall in love is to talk about one's strengths, but to get married is to live with one's shortcomings."

when we fall in love with someone, we often see his strengths. After getting married and getting along with each other day and night, his shortcomings naturally have no place to hide.

the key to whether we can hold on to our marriage is whether we can accept each other's shortcomings.

in marriage, accepting the shortcomings of your partner is far more important than accepting his strengths.

A couple, who have been married for thirty years, respect each other and almost never quarrel.

the son-in-law asked them about the secrets of getting along with husband and wife, and the husband said:

Don't blame your wife or blame her for doing something wrong, you know, you are two different people, both have shortcomings, and it's normal to do something wrong once in a while. If you are all perfect and there is no friction, the marriage may die in peace.

when we meet imperfections, we will believe that there is no perfection in this world; only when we accept imperfections can we truly cherish imperfections.

the love story between Bing Xin and Wu Wenzao has always been regarded as a good story in the history of modern Chinese literature.

although Wu Wenzao has high attainments in academic research, he is a complete "nerd" in life and often makes some common sense mistakes.

when Wu Wenzao went to buy these two things according to Bing Xin's instructions, he could not name them. One said "horse" and the other "feather yarn." as a result, the shop assistant was confused.

for this reason, Bing Xin once complained to her father, saying, "you see, he is really a fool!"

after hearing this, my father smiled and said to Bing Xin, "I didn't pick this silly uncle for you. You chose it yourself!"

however, Bing Xin complains and complains. Wu Wenzao's "foolishness" is cute to her. It is these foolishness that add a lot of fun to their dull marriage life.

as the saying goes, no gold is perfect, and no one is perfect. No matter how good a person is, he will have his own shortcomings.

whether you are in love or getting married, you should not only see the shining points in each other, but also see the deficiencies in each other.

if you don't accept enough, you won't think of yourself.Choose and regret.

No matter how bad the life is, you can certainly make it blossom.

it is better to run your own business than to improve others

Why not try to change each other in a marriage?

there is an incisive answer on the Internet: if the rope is tied too tightly, it will break; if you control the relationship too much, you will be tired.

everyone is an independent individual in marriage and has his own habits. If you blindly ask your partner according to your own standards, it is bound to arouse his dissatisfaction and anger.

in the end, you are unhappy, he is unhappy, and the marriage will not be happy.

Internet celebrity professor Dai Jianye once said:

never aim high for love and marriage. The greater the ambition, the deeper the pain. The more you ask, the less you gain. In the world of two people, you can have 'high standards' for yourself, but you can't be 'strict' with your partner.

changing others is a psychopath, but changing yourself is God.

A good marriage is never a selfish transformation, but an all-round acceptance. Instead of expecting the other person to change, make your own change.

when her best friend Xixi and her husband first got married, they disliked each other's view of consumption.

Xixi usually spends a lot of money and thinks that "money is spent". Only when he learns to spend money can he know how to make money. Her husband, on the other hand, believes that "money is saved" and that if he can spend a penny less, he will never spend a penny more.

for this reason, the two people often quarrel.

you say I am extravagant, I say you are stingy, no one is willing to change for each other, and even to the point of divorce.

unexpectedly, after lowering their expectations of each other and no longer trying to change each other, the two people lived more easily.

with fewer disputes with her husband, Xixi spends more time and energy on self-improvement.

in just two years, she has not only become more capable of working, but also learned how to manage and invest money. In addition, in the process, she also realized some of her previous misconceptions about consumption.

and her husband, seeing her growth and change, also learned self-reflection and learned to find reasons from himself first.

Today, the relationship between husband and wife is sweeter than before marriage, and the concept of consumption has gradually reached a consensus.

as Xixi said: "lower expectations externally, improve yourself internally, and life will definitely give you unexpected surprises."

A person's first step towards happiness must be his own efforts and actions.

manage yourself well, self-confidence and self-love, the marriage will be happy, life will be wonderful.

Marriage is a self-cultivation

the real meaning of marriage is not to find a perfect partner, but to make yourself better.

No matter whose wife or husband you are, first of all, you are yourself.

regard marriage as a self-cultivation, practice well, and strive to become a better self.

only by being a better you and a better me can we become a better us.