the old saying always goes: raise children and guard against old age.

this traditional concept of providing for the aged is no longer popular in today's social and family structure.

after children start their own families, fewer and fewer children live with their parents.

even in the process of getting along with children, there will always be some friction, large and small.

after a lot of hard work, there will be a few complaints.

when you get old, don't get too close to your children.

keep a certain distance, leave your own space, be kind to yourself, and be kind to your children.

when children get married, try not to live together

if you are in good health and have your own nest, try not to live with your children.

when we get along day and night, different habits, concepts, and personalities will inevitably lead to friction.

in this way, the distance becomes closer, but the relationship is far away.

think of a popular TV series "double-sided glue", the plot is very real:

after a young couple worked and settled in the city, their little life was sweet and warm, and their parents-in-law also lived a leisurely and pleasant life in their old age in their hometown.

No matter, you can always call each other to say hello and care, but the relationship is also harmonious.

but since the old couple moved to their son's house, everything has changed slowly.

daughter-in-law is not used to her mother-in-law's cooking, and her mother-in-law thinks she is delicate; her mother-in-law changed the decoration of the house without permission, and her daughter-in-law felt uncomfortable.

later, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law revolved around the problem of using water, eating, and spending money, and there was a small friction almost every day.

the family slowly became unripe, and the feelings of the couple were also affected.

I heard that such an appropriate metaphor:

parents and adult children had better keep the distance of "a bowl of soup", each has its own space, and can care for each other.

A bowl of hot soup is delivered to each other's home, neither hot nor cold, just right for drinking.

Don't meddle too much in the affairs of your children

it is the wish of all parents in the world to wish their children a successful life and a happy marriage.

but let the sons and daughters run their own lives.

it's normal for couples to quarrel with each other. Don't meddle too much. This is also the process of running in with each other.

their financial situation, when to have children, elders care about a few words, there is no need to arrange for them.

if parents are involved in everything, they tend to do bad things with good intentions, making the problem more complicated.

No one likes to be interfered in their lives by others, not even their parents.

the ancients also said, "Don't be deaf or dumb, don't be a master."

as a parent, it's good to learn to pretend to be confused, give advice on big things, and don't get involved in small things.

Children are happy and parents are happy, don't you think?

take care of your children, don't try to be brave

parents all feel sorry for their children. when their children get married and have children, they always want to share more for them.

when they become grandparents, they are not close enough to their grandchildren, and the pain is not enough. I can't wait to take them out to play, eat and drink every day.

when you get older, you still have to take care of your own health and do what you can.

like the neighbor's eldest sister Chen, whose daughter-in-law gave birth to a baby last year, she wanted to be close to the child. Obviously she was not in good health, so she tried to take care of the child, but no one could be persuaded.

taking care of children is the hardest. Over the past few months, Sister Chen was so tired that she had a backache and suffered from high blood pressure several times, so frightened that her wife hastened to take her back to rest and recuperation.

when people are old, if all aspects of their health are all right, help to take care of their children and grandchildren.

if you can't do what you want, don't overexert yourself. after all, the health of the elderly is the best support for their children.

be at peace with your daughter-in-law or son-in-law

have seen such a joke, it is very interesting:

With our 1940s evening dresses you know that you made a perfect choice. Our magnificent garments will hugely boost your confidence.

there was an old woman who often told people that her son had a bitter fate, married a lazy wife, was gluttonous and lazy, and did not do housework. Every day, her son cooked the meal and brought it to her at the head of the bed.

she was asked if your daughter married well.

my mother-in-law immediately smiled and said, "fortunately, my daughter married well." My son-in-law is very hurtful. He cooks a meal and sends it to her room every day. He won't let her do any work! "

although it is a joke, there are many parents in life who are just like the mother-in-law in the story.

I always hope that my daughter-in-law and son-in-law will be more sensible, give more, and their children will enjoy more happiness.

it is only natural to think so, but you must not do so.

if you always make demands on your daughter-in-law and son-in-law, or even suppress them, if you are grumpy, you will fall out with you directly.

if you have a gentle temper, you will be patient for a while, and you will have a problem with you for a long time.

in a small family, husband and wife are at loggerheads with each other, and naturally there is not much harmony in the extended family.

when dealing with a daughter-in-law and son-in-law, it is best to talk less about minor mistakes, let alone go out and talk to outsiders.

their goodness should not only be said frequently, but also with their relatives and friends.

learn to level your mindset, not to be partial, not to care, not to compare.

in this way, their children will not be in a dilemma, and the family will be more harmonious and happy.

Don't always talk about your efforts

in life, when parents get angry, they like to say these words to their children:

"didn't I do this for you?"

"after all I've done for you, is it easy for me?"

A lot of things are very easy to say, but sometimes they really make children feel uncomfortable.

they will feel that they have dragged down their parents, and even feel that their affection is not so selfless and pure.

parents are their children, so they don't have to talk about their own efforts.

if this increases family conflicts and dilutes parent-child feelings, the loss really outweighs the gain.

when providing for the aged, don't just think about relying on your children

people often say on the Internet:

"when one is old, one must have four elements: old capital, old wife, old house, and old friends."

this is quite true.

when you have the ability now, you should save your old capital first, so that you don't have to ask for it from your children or burden them in the future.

if the children need it, we can help as much as we can. if not, we can manage our own life, travel, and dance with old friends.

when people are old, it is really important to manage their old age well.

you don't have to focus all your attention on your children, and you don't have to complain about how little time they spend with them.

Young people have their own difficulties and pressures. When they can take good care of themselves, they should try their best to take care of their lives and not rely too much on them.

after working hard around the children of the family for most of their lives, the pace of life has finally slowed down, so we must take good care of ourselves.

take good care of your body, eat, play, and be generous to yourself.

take care of your heart, let go of all unhappy things, and learn to be happy for yourself.

when we are happy, our children will feel relaxed so that they can take care of their lives with peace of mind.

Why not kill two birds with one stone?

there is a good saying: "when a man is old and his heart is not old, he who is happy is young."

Happiness is the most important thing in one's life.

the hardships we should have suffered when we were young have been eaten, and our responsibilities have been fulfilled, and the rest of life is the good time that really belongs to us.

read your favorite books and take a walk to your favorite city.

accompany your wife to buy vegetables, go for a walk, drink tea and dance with three or five friends.

worry less about your children, don't worry about trifles, and spend every day fully and happily.

this kind of life is the best life in old age.