Unspoken rule of "breakup" for adults: don't reply to messages
Unspoken rule of "breakup" for adults: don't reply to messages
Response is the preservative of emotion.

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there is a question on Zhihu: "at what moment do you feel that you and the other person can no longer be friends?"

there is a highly liked answer:

"when I haven't received a reply from ta all day, only to see that ta has sent a cheerful circle of friends, I know that our friendship should be over."

I couldn't agree more.

do you remember the saying that spread widely on the Internet-"I return to you in a second, and you return to me in a second?"

of course, you can excuse the other person: maybe ta is busy, maybe ta is not available, maybe ta really doesn't see it.

in this era of mobile phones, I don't know if such an argument is credible. But I'm sure:

if you reply more messages, your heart will be closer; if you respond less from your heart, you will be far away.

in the adult world, it's enough to destroy a relationship and not reply.

emotion, if you don't get in touch, it really fades away

Cai Kangyong once said in "the Theory of Strange works": "Human feelings are not gold and jewelry, and the so-called human feelings will not arise if they are locked in a safe." Going back and forth is called a favor. "

the most destructive thing between people is the loss of communication.

how many people, who you think will be good friends for life, are drifting away on the way forward?

how many people do you think the two sides have never had any conflicts or misunderstandings, but slowly withdraw from each other's life in the course of less communication?

some sad words sound, but they are the personal feelings of countless people.

some time ago, my friend Yue Yue came to talk to me: because of a piece of news, I blocked my best friend of ten years.

I wonder: Yue Yue and her best friend grew up together and had a deep friendship. How could they block each other because of a piece of news?

"after work, we have different circles. At first, I will often send messages to her and share the details of my life, and she will reply in time."

"but gradually, when I sent her a message, she either didn't come back for a long time or was simply perfunctory; when I talked to her about life, she either said she was very busy or simply disappeared."

"until the other day, I sent her a message full of joy, but I didn't get a reply all day. But in the twinkling of an eye, she posted a cheerful circle of friends, and at that moment, I decided to block her. "

I thought about it and sent her this paragraph:

"feelings need to come and go: there is a reply, there is reciprocation; there is a response, there is support.

in a relationship, what you fear most is that your enthusiasm will be snubbed and your connection broken.

if you don't get a response, it's over if you fade away. "

in the past, we always thought that as long as we had a solid foundation, we would not lose it easily; we felt that as long as we cared about each other, we did not have to care about the distance.

but after growing up, I found that feelings are not so indestructible, and if they are not connected, they will really fade.

Wu Mengda and Zhou Xingchi have worked together for 12 years and are golden partners who "know what each other is thinking with one look in their eyes".

but then, for some reason, they were out of touch for nearly 20 years.

in the "Thirteen invitations", Wu Mengda responded to this friendship:

"if you move to another place and have another environment, you will have less and less contact with each other, and it seems that no one knows how to break through this opening."

Yes, no matter how close they used to be, less contact, less overlap in each other's lives, feelings become estranged

if you send a message and ta does not reply, you will not send it again by tacit agreement;

your joy is not understood by ta, and you are used to not demanding it.

when the contact decreases again and again, we have to admit:


if you don't get in touch, it will really fade.

the best relationship is to respond to everything

some people say that only if there is a reason for everything and a response to everything, the relationship will last forever.

I think so. "running water does not rot, the household hub is not beetle", good relationships, do not open a response--

it is affectionate to respond in time when you receive a message, and it is unborn to give your heart without a response.

affection is very expensive, and only those who don't want to share with you are worth it.

I have two college roommates. Once upon a time, the three of us were inseparable: sharing joys and sorrows.

I didn't expect that as soon as we graduated and went our separate ways, the relationship changed a little bit-one roommate and I became closer and closer to each other, but we became more and more estranged.

how did you get here? Just one thing:

once, I finally got a raise after working for a long time. When I was excited, I immediately told them both.

my former roommate replied me immediately and invited me out to dinner, saying that in order to celebrate my promotion and raise.

another roommate just replied "I'm busy, I'll talk about it later", and then disappeared.

Mr. Yang Jiang once wrote in the Biography of Yang Jiang: "No matter how deep the feelings are, they will fade slowly if you don't take care of them. If you don't talk to each other, you will have nothing to say."

how many people always feel that it doesn't matter whether they reply to the message or not, or whether they contact their friends or not;

how many people always think that a good relationship doesn't need to be maintained deliberately?True feelings don't have to respond all the time.

they don't know, the relationship will be broken if it doesn't last, and the relationship will fade if they don't respond.

they do not understand that the silent relationship is too exhausting, and the relationship that must be echoed is worth cherishing.

and all long-term relationships are inseparable from responding to everything.

the more you respond, the less apathy and embarrassment you will feel; the more truly you respond, the deeper your relationship and trust will be.

response is the preservative of emotion.

and the best relationship is to respond to everything.

spend the rest of your life with the person who responds to you

what is a response?

some people say that it is the warmth that I help as long as I need ta, and the tenderness that I must tell ta wherever I am.

some people say that as long as I turn around, ta is there, and no matter how busy ta is, it won't let me feel at ease.

I don't know exactly how to define the word "response", but I understand:

A short reply is a concern from the heart; a down-to-earth response is a real concern.

in the simplest response, there is the longest confession--

when you remove the dust from home and outside, and your family can find it immediately and feel comfortable,

when you announce the results of your efforts for a long time, and your friends can immediately understand and applaud them,

when you pour out your sad feelings and your lover can immediately understand and pacify your shoulder, you will know:

how happy it is to have a reason and respond to everything in a relationship.

and true happiness is never an one-way pursuit alone, but a two-way trip to each other.

if you don't believe me, look--

after Wang Yanlin was filmed in a love video, he responded in time and generously admitted his love: "the name engraved in my heart has been missed for a while, and I can't miss it for a lifetime."

Big s made a video call to Wang Xiaofei during the program. Wang Xiaofei, who was on the highway, immediately answered and said bluntly, "I dare not return your call."

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the husband and wife of Fage and the boss of the stalls are friends, because his wife likes to go shopping in the market, so when he knows who is in trouble, Fage will give help as soon as possible.


they tell us with their actions that it is a kind of happiness to have a reason for everything and to respond to everything.

and the greatest happiness is to be with the person who gives you a response.

some people say: "the valley without response is not worth jumping."

especially in a relationship, if there is no response, it is not worth it--

when hope and waiting are gradually lost, the heart becomes cold; with the accumulation of disappointments and students, people are far away.

when you are alive, you must be with the person who gives you a response.

, may all your messages be answered, and may your joys and sorrows be answered all your life.

May you be with the person who gives you a response.

encourage each other.