Silence is the highest contempt.
in this world, everyone has the right and freedom to speak and express.
but it is quite difficult to restrain yourself, not to explain, not to refute, not to correct others.
sometimes you will find that the more incompetent people are, the more talkative they are.
but the more powerful people are, the more reticent they are.
strong people don't need to explain themselves
in life, we often encounter moments when we are misunderstood or even wronged by others.
out of instinct, most people want to explain and clarify immediately.
but there are also a small number of people who seem to be indifferent no matter what others say, how they think, how they talk and judge.
in fact, no one wants to be the target of criticism, but the reason for not explaining is to know that in front of people who don't believe you, the explanation is meaningless, and it may even get darker and darker, so it's better to ignore it and make your life more comfortable and quiet.
Gong Sun Hong was once the prime minister of Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty, but he was very simple and low-key.
Ji an, who was du Wei at that time, disliked him very much, so he remonstrated to Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty that Gongsun Hong had a large salary, but pretended to be diligent and frugal, just for grandstanding.
when Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty personally asked Gong Sun Hong if there was such a thing, Gong Sun Hong replied that Ji an was telling the truth and his minister did not say much.
on another occasion, Gong Sun Hong and his ministers were in court for discussion, but when the last dynasty asked the emperor to make a decision, Gong Sun Hong had a better idea, so he temporarily changed his mind.
Ji an was very angry at that time and publicly reprimanded Gong Sun Hong for being too treacherous. When you first discussed with us, you said one thing, and when you played with the emperor, you said another.
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later, Emperor Wu asked Gongsun Hong, "the facts have proved that what you have stated is correct, but when the ministers heckled you, why didn't you clarify it?"
Gongsun Hong calmly replied, "those who know their subjects are loyal, and those who do not know their subjects are unfaithful." Emperor Wu of the Han Dynasty nodded again and again and paid more attention to him.
there are many moments when we want to prove to others that we have no other mind, no other intention, no other bad thoughts and character.
but in fact, people who believe in you always believe in you. No matter how much you say, it won't help those who don't believe you.
painter Chen Danqing once said:
"you don't have to keep telling people who I am, because people only want to see what they want to see. I even think it's good for you to hide your true self behind these misunderstandings."
the biggest mistake a person can make is to invite unimportant people and things into your life and entangle them endlessly.
strong people don't need to argue with others
I wonder if you have found that everyone's cognitive level, way of thinking, and even the pattern and realm are different, and the angle and height of looking at the problem will be different.
especially people at different levels, it is actually very difficult to communicate.
the more you argue, the more self-defeating or even counterproductive you will be.
but when you keep silent, you don't have to make trouble or make trouble.
there lived a wise monk on Mount Emei who had lived for a hundred years.
someone has come a long way to ask him the secret of happiness. The eminent monk said calmly, "never argue with a fool."
the man didn't seem satisfied with the answer and said, "Master, I don't quite agree with you that this is the secret."
the eminent monk said with a smile, "Yes, you are right!"
in fact, we don't have to expect to be like-minded with everyone, nor do we have to force everything to agree.
words should be said to those who understand, truth should be told to those who understand, and never waste your breath with people at different levels.
in life, we will probably meet people like this:
when you are working out and exercising, people always make fun of you for doing nothing.
even when you are taking the postgraduate entrance examination, studying for a doctoral degree and studying abroad, someone always advises you that you might as well fall in love early, get married, and have children.
in the face of such people, it is difficult to explain to them the joy of learning, the benefits of fitness, and self-fulfillment and satisfaction.
on the contrary, the more you defend yourself, it is not only disapproval and lack of self-confidence, but also difficult to convince others to really understand your choices and decisions.
as the saying goes, you stand on the top of the mountain and tell him that there is a vast ocean in front of him, and he can only see desolation halfway up the mountain.
sometimes, not to defend, not to refute, is precisely to respect yourself and others, because you really do not need to let everyone understand and support you.
usually only the weak always live in the eyes and opinions of others, the really strong, they do not need to live in other people's evaluation system, just be themselves.
strong people don't try to correct others
philosopher Schopenhauer once said:
"when talking to others, we should refrain from correcting other people's impulses, even though we do so out of kindness."
because it is easy to hurt others, but it is difficult to improve others, even without hindrance.
in life, when others stay up late, pursue dramas, and play games, you have to warn others wishfully that their work and rest are irregular and their bodies cannot afford to procrastinate.
when others are upset, miserable, or unhappy, you must use the experience of others to persuade others to learn to let go, take it easy, and don't struggle.
evenOther people like to eat and drink, do not exercise, you have to say coldly, people who do not control their weight well, it is difficult to control this life.
maybe you're right, but most of the time, people don't like to hear you say it, and even hate and resent it.
people who understand you, even understand your kindness and kindness, people who don't understand you, still think you mind your own business.
sometimes, it is not easy for us to take care of ourselves, but we always spend too much time and energy on others.
sometimes it's too late for us to care about ourselves, but we always care too much about other people's private affairs and emotions.
at a dinner party, a man told Carnegie a joke in which he explained that it was quoted from the Bible.
Carnegie felt wrong at that time, so he immediately pointed out that the sentence was from a Shakespeare work, and the two men had their own opinions and argued endlessly.
so Carnegie took this question and asked another friend who was very familiar with Shakespeare.
after hearing this, the friend touched Carnegie with his foot under the table, and then agreed with the man, saying that the sentence was from the Bible.
on the way back, Carnegie was puzzled and asked the friend why he was "partial" to the wrong side.
A friend said that pointing out his mistakes would embarrass him, and he didn't ask for advice, and there was no need to talk back to him. It was unwise to face someone face to face.
when a person learns to shut up at the right time, he also learns to be mature and the most important truth in dealing with the world.
in fact, when others do not take the initiative to ask and consult you, do not like to be a teacher, do not be smart, this is the greatest restraint and self-discipline of adults.
the younger people are, the less capable they are, and the more they will prove themselves in words when they have no experience. In words, to defeat others. In words, to divide the theory of right and wrong to win or lose.
but when a person really matures, he will know that reticence is the most confident, independent and powerful expression of a person.
Lu Xun once said, "only silence is the highest contempt."
what is more important than persuading others is that you don't have to convince anyone.
share with your friends.