A female reader told me her story:

my husband and I are college classmates. We have been in love with each other for four years and love each other very much.

I almost had a fight with my parents because they opposed us being together.

in the first year or two of his marriage, he liked to cook and would like to eat at home with me.

either go drinking with friends, or go home to play games, and become more and more impatient with me.

before the seven-year itch, we are like an old husband and wife for many years.

husband and wife's life is to cope with, two people lying in bed is also playing with their own mobile phones, rarely chat.

I don't have sense of security for this marriage, so I've never dared to have children.

I really wonder if I married the wrong person, and even, for a few moments, the idea of divorce came to me.

after listening to this reader finish her story, I remembered that my friend Xiaomin told me about one of her female classmates.

this classmate divorced a few years ago, the child was given to the man, and he left the house clean.

the woman is very beautiful, just in her early thirties, and many people introduce her to her new boyfriend.

she soon remarried a man with good conditions, and the two meant that they hated each other too late.

the remarried husband has a three-year-old daughter, and the woman hopes to have a child of her own, but the man thinks that the daughter is too young and is afraid that she will be wronged.

after two or three years, the two had a big quarrel every three days and a small quarrel a day, and even the best relationship became noisy after a long time.

quarrelling and quarrelling, the two simply divorced again, and the woman spent two or three years alone, during which she also spent a few times, but to no avail.

after walking around in a circle, he will be forty years old.

when she looked back, she felt that later these were not as good as her first husband, and the child followed him, and she often missed her child.

so she had the idea of remarrying again. Fortunately, her ex-husband never remarried. Under the encouragement of everyone, the two came together again.

Xiaomin's classmate said a sentence that impressed me very much:

"in fact, no matter how much two people have loved each other, as long as they are married, there will be a day of boredom. The main thing is to see how to manage this weary day well."

I take this for granted. Why else would there be a seven-year itch?

as for marriage to ten years, twenty years and thirty years, even the itch is no longer itchy, press not to go first.

I have observed many middle-aged couples, many of whom are neighbor-style "politeness", but you can rest assured that few people want to divorce.

people who live to this age are mostly well-informed and understand that they are just like anyone else, so why do they have to toss about the years without enjoying them?

there is really no vigorous love for a lifetime of feelings, either beautify, or do not see the real inside.

Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng are famous loving couples in history. There are traces of their happiness in Li Qingzhao's words.

the game of gambling books and spilling tea, looking back against the door, but sniffing the shyness of green plums, reading these sentences, the pictures of two people in love will appear in front of us.

they fell in love freely at that time.

on an outing, young Li Qingzhao and Zhao Mingcheng met. From then on, they had a feeling of lovesickness and sorrow in two places.

later, Zhao Mingcheng's father learned about his son's wishes and went to Li Qingzhao's house to propose marriage.

for many years, I have always thought that they are the most happy marriage. they are evenly matched, have the same hobbies, and share the same values.

until that day I read a passage written by Li Qingzhao in Jin Shi Lu:

"I wept bitterly and couldn't bear to ask about the afterlife.

on August 18, I couldn't afford it. When you take a pen to write a poem, you end up with a pen, and there is no intention to share the incense and sell it. "

this is the situation when Li Qingzhao wrote about her husband Zhao Mingcheng before he died, which translates as:

in my grief, I dared not ask him about his future arrangements. on August 18, Zhao Mingcheng could no longer get up, took a pen to write a poem, and then died without saying anything about my arrangements.

I was amazed for a long time. It turned out that their relationship in the last period of time was already riddled with holes.

Zhao Mingcheng doesn't care about Li Qingzhao at all, and Li Qingzhao is disappointed with her husband in every word.

Professor Dai Jianye of East China normal University once said something similar:

"Marriage is mostly a make-do."

for decades to face a person, everyone will have a time of boredom, tired of how, make do with it, and everyone will inevitably have this day.

in the TV series Golden Marriage, Wen Li played by Jiang Wenli and Tong Zhi played by Zhang Guoli, one is a teacher and the other is an engineer.

although they are married on a blind date, the relationship is really sweet. They have been married for several years and want to stick together every day, making love every chance, so that Wen Li continues to get pregnant.

but what happened next?

Tong Zhi still fell in love with the young and beautiful Li Tianjiao, and even when his mother was dying, he was so affectionate that he didn't even see his mother's last face.

Wen Li didn't divorce him, but she swallowed her life until the couple had white hair and celebrated when they reached the age of golden marriage.

I am not moved by this couple who grow old together, but it is true that too many peopleA real marriage.

Young people are inseparable, middle-aged people are indifferent and bored, old people depend on each other, and no one's marriage is 360 degrees without a dead end. Imperfection is the normal state of life.

in the TV series "years of Burning passion", officer Shi Guangrong accidentally met the beautiful literary and artistic soldier Chu Qin, and he suddenly fell in love with her.

Chu Qin did not like this rough man because she already had a sweetheart of her own, but Shi Guangrong used the strength of all parties to do everything possible to marry Chu Qin.

the two are not the same people in the first place. Shi Guangrong doesn't know anything about life except to lead troops to fight. He thinks Chu Qin is hypocritical.

even if they had three children, they still quarreled all day long, even to the point of divorce.

he has been fighting like this all his life, and Chu Qin has suffered all his life, and when the children are grown up, they are both old.

Shi Guangrong slowly realized his mistake and began to be kind to his wife. There was a kind of belated sweetness between the two, and they made an appointment in the next life.

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Fu Seoul said:

"there are so many couples in the world, not all of them are kind and loving.

the marriage of most ordinary people is a partnership, the most important comrade-in-arms in life, and they have a lot of strong feelings to overcome difficulties together. "

Yes, gorgeous is extremely insipid, and then hot love has a boring day, the most moving feelings are not earth-shaking, but only the warmth of a cup of tea and a meal.

even if you hold his hand, there is no longer the warm heartbeat of the original ear, but the steady feeling of touching the right hand with the left hand makes the mood more smooth.

if one hand is hurt, the other will feel the same pain, because our blood has long been linked and grown together.

what is it if it's not love?