The heart starts with the facial features, and the long companion ends with the three values.
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between people, the heart starts with the facial features, and the long companionship ends with the three values.
as Gu Cheng said in his poem:
"the grass is bearing its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, we stand, do not speak, it is very beautiful."
the most comfortable relationship is closeness and closeness, never tired of looking at each other, and never tired for a long time.
give up "zero boundary sense"
there is such a sentence:
"getting too close to anyone is a disaster."
when people get along with others, the most taboo thing is that there is no sense of boundaries, as is the case with all kinds of relationships in the world.
everyone needs to have an independent world, independent space,
be a happy self before you can be a happy "us".
Zhu Yuchen, who plays Huazi in struggle, recorded variety shows with his mother.
program, Zhu Yuchen's mother said that everything for her son must be approved by her.
his mother does not allow him to eat takeout. Wherever Zhu Yuchen goes to film, his mother will follow him to cook for him.
his mother interferes with his every relationship, and the criteria for finding a girlfriend must be set by her.
in the face of this airtight love, Zhu Yuchen said sadly that this kind of love is too stressful.
he even jokingly said to his mother:
"you're gonna kill me."
it is a terrible thing not to have a sense of boundary even among family members who are as close as flesh and blood.
this is especially true of friendship and love.
"No matter how close your friends are, you can't miss the line, and you think you are familiar with each other, resulting in reverse isolation."
Life is like a ruler, you must have a degree. Feelings, such as noodles, do not cross the line.
the best relationship is not to distinguish you from me, but to be close to each other, not to be entangled, but to be appropriate.
give up showing off
some people say that people who are really educated,
will not stand on the moral high ground domineering, nor will he show off or be proud of himself.
Don't mock others if you haven't experienced it yourself:
"as for this little thing?"
when you come across a field you are familiar with, don't say proudly:
"you don't know that?"
people have their own advantages and disadvantages, and they should not measure the lives of others by their own standards.
Eileen Chang once had a close friend, Yan Ying, who was a classmate of Eileen Chang at HKU.
they understood and appreciated each other, thinking that the friendship would last to the end.
but things change. Later, Yan Ying lived a rich life, but Zhang ailing was very sleepy.
whenever Yan Ying writes to Zhang ailing, she always mentions how much money she has earned and how many people she has been pursued.
sensitive as Eileen Chang, in the glory of her friends, she is more and more down-and-down.
gradually, Zhang ailing seldom wrote back.
later, Yan Ying wrote at the beginning of a letter:
"I don't know what I did wrong to make you ignore me."
A relationship that is too strenuous either continues or breaks out in patience.
keeping a low profile is a kind of wisdom and a kind of realm.
as the saying goes, the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water.
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in interpersonal communication, if you give up the comparison of too many flashy things, the interpersonal relationship will become much more comfortable.
give up "sucking up"
Su Cen said:
"A really good love is effortless. There is no need to please, two people are comfortable to let nature take its course. If a relationship, a person, you have to spend a lot of energy to please, this is not destined to accompany you to the final fate. "
people who really love you never need you to please and please.
emotion is a two-way rush, not an one-way chase.
if one person tries desperately to be good to another, and the other person only cares about accepting it, the emotional balance will always be out of balance.
the love between Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu is an unprecedented love in the literary world.
when the two are at home, they often have a reading competition, which reads more books.
once, Qian Zhongshu and Yang Jiang exchanged reading experiences:
"if you read a book for the second time, you will always find a lot of negligence when you read it for the first time."
Yang Jiang disagreed and said:
"this is your pronunciation. I am more casual. I can read good books a few times and skim through books that I am not interested in. "
Reading and writing, hilarious and noisy, their marriage life is full of leisurely interest and envy others.
the only way to get to the end of a relationship is not how suitable two people seem, but how comfortable they are.
the best love, probably just like this, moves your heart and makes you feel at ease.
May we all meet people who are comfortable with each other and walk freely and comfortably for the rest of our lives.