A relationship that is too strenuous will only hurt yourself.
Peng Lei, the lead singer of the new trousers band, has a title in the community: the bandit in the circle of friends.
the number of his Wechat friends remains at 100 all the year round.
add people who have never talked again, delete them; those who don't like them, delete them; and those who are bored, delete them too.
he once talked about his philosophy of life in an interview: never waste time on people who are not worth it.
when people are young, they always like to add to their moments.
at a certain age, you will find that there is no need to invite too many people into your life.
the most advanced circle of friends is always broken, given up, and separated.
an uncomfortable relationship should be broken
not long ago, I saw a sentence with deep feelings on the Internet:
"the biggest obsession of many people is that they are too eager to keep their feelings, regardless of whether it suits you or not."
you need to know that relationships that make you feel tired are actually wrong. "
A relationship that is supposed to be comfortable with others and takes too much effort will only hurt themselves.
backstage, a reader talked about his own experience.
when she first entered college, she wanted to be friends with a girl in her class. She always liked to run to other people's dormitory when she had nothing to do.
either drag her to talk about the books she has read recently, or invite her to the exhibition.
thanks to her efforts, the relationship between the two is getting closer.
but she soon found that although she spared her heart and heart, the other person was always lukewarm.
moreover, the two don't get along in many places.
she likes to listen to folk songs, but the girl says that people who listen to folk songs are fake literature and art; she is lovelorn and crying for comfort, but the other party thinks she is hypocritical.
every time she chatted, she walked on thin ice, fearing that the other person would be unhappy if she said something wrong.
in the end, physically and mentally exhausted, she can only choose to end the relationship.
writer Liu Yu has a saying that is quite right:
"if a person needs you to spend a lot of energy to stay, it is not destined to accompany you to the final fate."
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if you pay, he does not understand; your mood, he does not care, then this relationship is not worth continuing.
as in the novel the elegance of the hedgehog:
"We are all lonely hedgehogs, and only those of the same frequency can see each other's inner grace."
people who really have the same frequency as you can cherish each other without deliberately maintaining it.
but no matter how hard you try, it is pointless if you are not the same people.
Life is already very difficult, why bother to embarrass yourself in the relationship.
any relationship that makes you struggle to maintain is wrong.
the person who consumes you, give up
I read a topic on Douban: when did you make up your mind to end a relationship?
among them, there is an answer that impressed me very much:
"when this relationship brings me much less energy than it consumes on me."
the more people I know over the years, the more I agree with one sentence:
the people around you will exert a subtle influence on your quality of life.
being with people who consume themselves is a huge social disaster.
writer Xia Yixuan mentioned a friend in his article.
every time people go out for dinner, he either says that his work is boring and his feelings are not going well, or he complains that the leader is bothering him.
turned an otherwise relaxed gathering of friends into a complaint meeting.
every time she comforted each other with kind words and kindly introduced him to a new job.
as a result, the other party arrived at the new company, still fishing in troubled waters every day, doing nothing, and naturally failed the probationary period.
later, at a party, she brought her computer because she had to work overtime temporarily.
as a result, the friend not only said strangely that she was "crazy to make money", but also accused her of being unreliable in the job she had recommended.
when she got home in the evening, she immediately blocked the friend.
in our lives, we have all met such people:
some people are like garbage trucks full of negative energy, making your day's good mood disappear suddenly, and the whole person becomes full of hostility.
some people clearly don't want to make progress, but they can't see you work hard to improve yourself, either sarcastically to your face or stumbling behind your back.
some people simply take you as a free meal ticket and ask for it without a bottom line, making you dumb to eat Coptis chinensis.
the best way to save yourself from those who always consume you is to stay away.
there is a saying that makes sense:
"if you are with the right person, you will become a better yourself because of him; with the wrong person, you will lose the whole world because of him."
in a good relationship, two people must nourish each other and achieve each other.
invalid social interaction, when leaving
there is a small conversation, and every time I read it, I feel deeply.
An and B show off: "I have 3000 friends on Wechat."
B asked, "how many people give you a second?" How many people advise you to go to bed early? How many people are willing to lend you money? "
A heard this and was silent.
when people are young,It is always easy to be kidnapped by the so-called network.
went to one party after another and got nothing but fatigue, but told myself "this is to expand my network."
added friends one by one, although they never talked to anyone at all, they comforted themselves that they would be "useful".
later you will slowly find that those who do not have the strength to socialize, but a castle in the air.
there is a particularly gripping plot in the hit TV series Dear myself.
Zhang Zhizhi and her husband Liu Yang are just ordinary office workers.
because of the policy reform, their children entered a better kindergarten in the local area.
seeing that the parents around them are either rich or expensive, Zhi Zhi is determined to integrate into their circle and strive for more networking resources for the family.
for this reason, she either bakes cookies and gives small gifts to everyone every day, or stays up late to help with planning projects.
all the parents in her group thought of her as a friend.
but it was only after an episode that Zhi Zhi understood that her so-called network was just a joke.
once when she went to pick up her daughter from school, she met a dispute at the gate of the kindergarten.
she went over to fight kindly, but the old lady slapped her unreasonably.
Zhi Zhi was sad and aggrieved, but none of her "friends" came out to help her.
later, after learning that the old lady who beat people was the mother of the headmaster of the primary school next door, Zhi Zhi was even kicked out of the group chat by the parents.
the seemingly cruel scene reveals the greatest social truth of adults:
good contacts are not deliberately pursued, but attracted.
the biggest illusion in life is that it is easy to have many friends.
but the cruel truth of society is that if you are not good, it is useless to know anyone.
how many people you know is far less important than who you are.
instead of spending time in the crisscross of planning, spend more time alone to enrich yourself.
if you are in full bloom, the breeze will come; you are strong enough that the world will be gentle to you.
Hideko Yamashita wrote in "break up":
the most effective way to make life happy is to throw away things that are "unnecessary, inappropriate, and uncomfortable".
Life needs thorough cleaning, and so does moments.
an uncomfortable relationship should be broken; a person who consumes you should be given up; an ineffective social relationship should be separated.
only by inviting unimportant people to live, can we make room to embrace bosom friends, two or three, and see the vast world.
, save time for yourself and learn to live for yourself in order to make a trip to this world.