Language is a double-edged sword.
you can listen to the green mark above
there is a saying: one word can make people jump, one word can make people laugh.
indeed, language is a double-edged sword.
it can be a tool to convey feelings and a bridge for communication between people.
but at the same time, it can also be a sharp weapon to hurt people and the beginning of alienation.
you know, not everything can be discussed, can say it is instinct, do not say is the ability.
knowing not to ask, is a kind of kindness, but also a kind of wisdom, but also a person's best self-cultivation.
knowing not to ask is a kind of kindness
colleague Xiaoling, life is always rich and colorful, and she often goes shopping with friends for dinner.
but not long ago, due to the failure of her investment, all her savings for many years were lost, and her life became embarrassed.
several times, we made an appointment to have lunch together, and Xiaoling put us off on the grounds that someone asked her out.
later, we unwittingly learned that Xiaoling's investment failed and owed some foreign debts.
one day, Xiaoling suddenly borrowed money from another colleague, Ah Qin.
she falsely falsely said:
"my house suddenly needs to be decorated, but my money is in the regular account. I can't take it out for a while. Can you lend me some money and I'll give it back to you later?"
after hearing this, Aqin did not expose her lie, but smiled and said to her:
"Yes, I happen to have some money to spare. I'll lend it to you first." I'm in no hurry to use the money. You can pay me back after you finish your family business. "
once, when I met Ah Qin in the tea room, I couldn't help asking her, "Why don't you ask clearly and then decide whether to lend money to Xiaoling?"
A Qin replied, "if there were no real difficulties, who would humbly ask someone to borrow money?" Asking too many questions will only embarrass Xiaoling. "
remember that Shen Congwen said this sentence:
"Don't ask about other people's past, it may be a memory you never want to touch."
Yes, everyone has their own secrets.
there are some words that I just want to hide in my heart, and some bitterness I just want to carry on me silently.
since others don't want to mention it, why should we bother to ask?
truly kind-hearted people, when they see that others have something difficult to say, often do not ask too many questions, but will do their best.
help others silently and let them tide over the difficulties smoothly.
knowing not to ask is a kind of wisdom
once heard a very piercing saying: "if you do not ask, there will be a lot less deception."
the reason why many feelings fade, alienate and break up is not because they refuse to say anything, but because they know everything and explore it to the end.
the great wisdom of life is to see through and not to tell, and to know that you do not ask.
Nobel Prize winner Mo Yan has shared the origin of his pseudonym.
he said frankly:
"when herding cattle when I was a child, I often said the wrong things and asked too many things that should not be asked, which caused great trouble to my family.
my mother also admonished me many times in tears, telling me not to ask too much when I shouldn't ask, and not to say it when I shouldn't.
whenever I finish my words, I often regret my actions. "
as a result, when he began to become a writer, he gave himself the pseudonym Mo Yan.
use this to remind yourself to understand that silence is golden.
as the old saying goes, "it is better to keep the middle than to speak too much."
Life, to learn to precipitate, silence, is a kind of maturity.
knowing not to ask is not only a way of speaking, but also a way of dealing with the world.
A person's sense of appropriateness is better than to see through and not to tell, even if he knows why, he also knows how to keep his mouth shut.
the best accomplishment is to know without asking
as the saying goes, "the world is enlightened and learned, and human skill is an article."
when you speak, you must know how to master the yardstick.
the best way to speak is to speak properly.
in the early Western Han Dynasty, after Liu Bangping decided the world, he began to talk about merit and reward.
Liu Bang thought that Xiao he had done the most, so he wanted to grant him more fiefdoms.
but Liu Bang's mind was soon guessed by the ministers, so the ministers were displeased and strongly recommended Cao Shen.
many people said, "Pingyang Hou Cao Shen suffered 70 injuries and led his troops to win many battles, so he should rank first."
after listening to the ministers, Liu Bang did not answer directly, but his silence has already told everyone that he still wants to stick to his own opinion.
in this way, the atmosphere of the discussion was a little tense.
at this time, Hou Ejun in Guannei had seen through Liu Bang's mind and said:
"everyone made a mistake. Although Cao Shen made meritorious service, it was only a temporary meritorious service.
over the years, Xiao he has often come to help fill various loopholes.
not only that, Xiao he also sent more grain to Guanzhong, so that there would not be a shortage of food.
this is the merit of all ages. So I advocate Xiao Hedi.First, Cao Shen second. "
E Jun's knowing not to ask and being wise in haste not only resolved the embarrassment between monarchs and courtiers, but also was named "Anping Marquis".
people with real self-cultivation do not often ask questions, but light their own light and give others a warmth of kindness.
people with real self-cultivation will not say anything at will, but know how to keep their mouth shut.
keep your mouth shut.
most of the time, it is not because you are unable to speak that you dare not speak.
but after realizing the truth of the matter, he knows but does not say anything, speaks kindly, knows how to be kind to others, and gives others understanding and respect.
the best way to cultivate a person is to know without asking.