above the point

writer Wang Chen once said:

"all encounters in the world are reunited after a long separation. It is incredible to meet each other in a sea of people. "

I want to know whether a relationship can go through the rest of my life, not vows of love and love, not gifts of flowers, but affection that spreads from the depths of each other's hearts.

but unfortunately, time always dilutes the surprise and sweetness of the first encounter, turning the story of two people into an one-man show.

maybe there is always the possibility of lying, but the details of the relationship are not.

people who really love you may not say they love you blatantly, but they always infiltrate it into their daily routine.

on the contrary, if one party only knows how to take and only thinks about himself, then the relationship is doomed to not last.

there was a hot topic on Zhihu:

"Why is it that the more people give, the more they get hurt?"

among them, the one who likes most is this sentence:

"because the more you give, the greater the sacrifice, the more the other person takes it for granted."

I think so.

my friend Shanshan is going through the divorce formalities recently. Although I was a little surprised when I heard the news, everything seemed reasonable.

later, when Shanshan came home from work, he couldn't reach her husband at all. He thought his husband was working overtime, so he didn't answer Wechat or answer the phone.

but in the wee hours of the morning, there was still no news. Shanshan was so anxious that he was worried that something had happened to her husband. He asked a circle of relatives and friends to know that his husband had gone to play cards with his friends.

later she asked her husband, "Why do you only know how to play all day? do you remember having a home?"

my husband didn't care about Shanshan's resentment at all. He felt that his cell phone ran out of power when playing cards, and he made a mountain out of a molehill.

the two had a big quarrel, but her husband poured out his usual dissatisfaction with her.

began to accuse Shanshan of not being a good wife and mother, and even listed a number of "charges" that Shanshan did not do housework carefully and could not cook.

it turns out that Shanshan's contribution to this family, her husband not only chose to turn a blind eye, but even felt that she had not done enough.

after that, we often browse Shanshan's slightly sentimental moments in the middle of the night:

"you live alone, not because no one cares, but because the person you care about is indifferent."

after all, the marriage of "walking from campus to wedding dress" was separated in this way.

in a marriage, if your efforts are always denied and ignored, then no matter how hot your heart is, there will be a day of frostbite.

disappointment is not a momentary grievance, nor does the heart cool in a day.

the murderers who stifle marriage often hide in the trivial folds of life.

when all disappointments and grievances slowly accumulate, no matter how deep love will wear away.

once saw a short film "you've changed, let's get divorced".

in the beginning, the man and woman were very much in love. But for a long time, the communication between the two people is getting less and less, leaving only plain to make do with life.

the man felt that there was no need for the marriage to continue, so he filed for divorce.

the hostess agreed, but she proposed a "30-day agreement", requiring each other to hug, hold hands, kiss and say "I love you" every day.

it may be that there has been no intimate interaction for a long time. At the beginning, the man is very perfunctory, holding hands only touches the tips of hands, hugs are also full of embarrassment, and daily conversations do not go away at all.

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slowly, the man has become accustomed to these loving actions.

during this time, the two men seem to have found their original feeling again.

the man finally realized that his wife still loved himself as always, but neglected each other's care and love.

in real life, this mode of getting along with each other is not rare.

in fact, a relationship is not a moment, a moment, but a long time.

if you only rely on the hot "I love you", it will not go far.

all the happiness in the world requires slow running-in, constant reflection and mutual understanding.

therefore, do not ignore those trivial details, protect them with love and feel them with your heart, so that you can afford the feathers of marriage and stand the test of time.

readers often ask me backstage, "is there any way to have a happy and long marriage?"

of course there is, and it's simple.

as long as you manage your marriage with your heart, happiness is actually hidden in life.

Zhang Jin and Cai Shaofen are famous loving couples in the entertainment circle, and their relationship is full of happiness.

Zhang Jin will pay attention to every detail and preference of Cai Shaofen's life.

when Cai Shaofen wanted to eat Fried Baked Scallion Pancake, Zhang Jin stood in line for two hours to buy it for her.

Cai Shaofen doesn't like Zhang Jin to be drunk. After Zhang Jin promised her, he never got drunk again.

Cai Shaofen doesn't have sense of security, so Zhang Jin keeps her phone on 24 hours a day.

because I love you, I should put you at the top of my heart and give you 100% warmth and sense of security with action.

you know, a happy marriage is not perfect when you get married.

but to be considerate in the days of hand in handAnd gentle little by little into the trivial daily, so that the feelings and life into the benign preservation.

once came across an old couple in their twenties by the side of the road. The old man suddenly said to the old woman, "I want to eat Youtiao. Go and buy me one."

the old woman muttered and went. When he came back, the old man saw his wife's shoelace loose and bent down and shivered to tie her shoelace.

the granny hastened to help him up: "Don't show off, it doesn't matter."

the old man replied, "I can't do that. What if I fall?" I'm not relieved. "

you see, it is impossible to hide the true love of a person, and his actions and words can capture his deep feelings. Even when people reach their twilight years, they still work so hard.

it is precisely those subtle warmth that will inexplicably touch the softness of your heart and bring you a sweet throb.

if any relationship wants to last for a long time, we can't just rely on enthusiasm to maintain it. What's more important is to cherish every minute and every second of the moment.

with sweet care, feelings can resist the loss of time, love each other, cherish each other for a long time in the bottom of my heart.

think of a sentence from in the mood for Love:

"I never thought that marriage was so complicated. I thought it would be fine for one person to do well, but it is not enough for two people to be together."

Marriage is like water. No matter how boiled it is at first, it will eventually cool down and be heated from time to time to maintain its heat.

there is never a shortcut to a happy marriage, only the hard work of two people.

learn to understand each other, cherish each other, give each other careful care and care, and slowly polish with love in order to live a hot life.

the most beautiful thing in the world is not the scenery, but the feelings you can spend the rest of your life with.

, may you and I both be lucky to meet a loved one and go to Baishou, who will accompany you, wait for you, understand you, and love you all the time.