above the point

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someone in Zhihu once asked, "what kind of behavior in life is a sign of high EQ?"

one of the highly praised answers is: "words have a ruler, words have a degree."

speaking is an art. A good word can make a person feel like a spring breeze, and a bad word can make a person fall into the cold winter instantly.

the so-called high EQ is to learn to speak well.

because behind good speech, there is a kind of kindness growing in the bottom of my heart and self-cultivation rooted in my heart.

the way you speak is also the size of your life.

A person with high EQ will never say the following six words.

Don't say anything from the bottom of your heart

listen to netizens Xiao Ke share a bad experience.

said that once she chatted with a colleague in the company.

her colleague talked about the growing recession of the company and asked her what her plans were.

unexpectedly, a few days later, her boss talked to her and said that since she was going to open a shop, she found someone to take over her job.

Xiao Ke was not only unhappy with his boss, but also forced to leave his job ahead of time.

as the old saying goes, "if thorns are hidden under flowers, branches and leaves, how can the heart not be poisonous?" The depth of the sea water in the world is known, but it is hard for people to think about it. "

although the human heart is only separated by a layer of belly, it is better than the thousands of miles in this world, which is the most difficult to see.

shallow talk is a big taboo, and the secret you tell others today may become a weapon used by ta to hurt you tomorrow.

Communication between people is like a marathon, it takes a long time to see the hearts of the people, so why use up all your strength at the beginning of the show?

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you must not be willing to harm others, but you must be careful to guard against others.

No matter how speculative it is, don't rush to talk to each other; time is the best filter that will precipitate the truest feelings.

Don't say hurtful words when angry

Jefferson said, "when you are angry, count ten before you open your mouth, and if you are very angry, count to one hundred."

because when people are angry, they will lose their mind and say some bad things, but the consequences are irreversible.

A netizen named Chef said that the thing she regrets most is that she said mean words to her mother because she was angry.

A few years ago, when her mother saw that all her children of the same age were married and had children, she began to find a partner for her.

one day, her mother told her excitedly that the son of a colleague, who was only one year older than her, was excellent in all aspects and wanted to arrange for them to meet.

but that day, she happened to meet a difficult client and yelled at her mother without a fight: "this is my private matter, can you not interfere?" He is so good, why don't you marry him? "

Mother's tears fell all of a sudden, and she wanted to slap herself in the face immediately.

this is her mother's concern for her, but she is not only ungrateful, but also broke her mother's heart.

, although she apologized, she always blamed herself when she thought of her mother's bewilderment that day.

there is a popular saying on the Internet: "the tongue has no bones, but it is better than any sharp weapon."

evil words always hurt the hearts of those closest to you.

the mouth was quick for a moment, and afterwards it was a crematorium.

A bad word to a customer may lose a business;

A bad word to a friend may ruin the friendship;

A bad word to a child may cast a shadow on ta for life.

to shut up when angry is not only a kind of wisdom, but also a kind of spiritual practice.

Don't complain to everyone

once saw a shocking speech.

there was a boy born with a disability due to lack of oxygen in his brain, making it impossible for him to walk and speak fluently like a normal person.

he made more efforts than ordinary people and was finally admitted to a key high school.

but the headmaster kicked him out of the campus on the grounds of his disability.

on the way to apply for a job, he was repeatedly rejected because of his physical defects.

in desperation, he had no choice but to start his own business, setting up stalls and opening Internet cafes, bookstores and supermarkets.

his bookstore was burned, the supermarket was stolen, and the Internet cafe was torn down again and again.

but now, he is the chairman of an e-commerce company and has been named the top 10 Internet merchants in the world by Alibaba. He has sold 4000 cheongsam pieces in one minute. He is Cui Wanzhi, the "cheongsam man".

speaking of the past, he admitted that he had resented the injustice of fate incomparably, but no matter how much he complained, the tribulations would not be less than a penny less, and only by himself could he get out of the predicament.

in life, we often complain about trifles.

complaining is the most useless thing in the world.

it not only can not solve the problem, but also damages people's ambition, consumes people's energy, and makes the road of life more and more difficult.

like that sentence very much:

"Life gives me honey, and I enjoy it." When life gives me the test, I will go to battle in armor. "

not in front of othersTalk crazy

in one issue of "it must be you", a job seeker named Yang Xingxiang made heroic words as soon as he appeared on the stage.

said that he would follow the example of Su Qin in ancient times and become a good general of six entrepreneurs, using his wisdom to help entrepreneurs succeed, and offered a monthly salary of NT $90,000.

but when entrepreneurs asked him about his past achievements, he couldn't come up with a successful case.

when faced with the query raised by Baihe founder Mu Yan, instead of giving an explanation, he said he would teach Mu Yan a lesson.

in the first round of voting, all the entrepreneurs present turned off the lights.

if a person overestimates himself, he is doomed to defeat.

you should know that there are people outside the sky, and there are always better and harder people in this world.

I don't have enough strength, so I like to put it together with big words.

the low water becomes the sea, and the low man is the king. The really powerful people always hide in the heart of the word humility, leaving some leeway to turn around.

Don't make promises easily

is there such a person around you who often says, "it's up to me" and "I'll take care of it for you every minute" and so on.

it's always easy to make a promise, but by the time you actually ask for help, ta will have forgotten all about it.

those who are light in promise will have little faith.

because promises that are easy to say are often unforgettable and must be difficult to fulfill.

the saddest thing is that the speaker has no intention, but the listener is gone.

A person with high EQ will never make a commitment easily.

because they cherish their feathers enough to squander their credibility.

knowing that there is no absolute thing in the world, if you are not completely sure, you will never dare to agree rashly.

as "Zengguang Xian Wen" said, "if you promise a person a thing, you will always have money."

once you make a promise, you will bear a responsibility and never dare to betray the trust of others.

it is better to walk away in action than to make a good promise.

jokes don't reveal people's faults

I once heard Xu Zheng talk about his bitter history of treating hair loss in his speech in the Star Sky.

when he was a sophomore, he began to lose his hair violently.

in order to treat hair loss, he sought medicine everywhere and finally found a good prescription: wipe the scalp with ginger and hair spray.

he wipes the scalp with ginger in the dormitory every day, making the scalp red and feverish, and then dipping the hair lotion with a brush on the scalp.

every time he applied medicine, the smell of ginger and hair water would spread, and someone in the dormitory corridor would knock on the washbasin and shout "Xu Zhengzhi's hair."

once, everyone gathered around, and when he was nervous, he spilled unboiled hair water.

one of his classmates made fun of him and said, "do you think there will be hair on the table?"

and another student echoed and replied, "if you look at his head, you can see that it doesn't work very well."

he admitted that he had suffered a lot of humiliation and ridicule in order to treat hair loss.

although he didn't say anything at the moment, he had no taste in his heart, and such inferiority also accompanied him for many years.

as the saying goes, "if you don't hit people in the face, you should not expose their weaknesses."

everyone has their own restricted area, privacy and shortcomings that they don't want to be talked about.

exposing people's faults in public is like sprinkling a handful of salt on other people's festering wounds.

you think an innocuous joke may leave an indelible shadow on others.

the real self-cultivation is: even if it is a joke, do not forget to compare the kindness of the heart, when and where do not talk about personal, do not reveal the shortcomings of others.

the so-called high EQ is never how many sweet words, but before each opening, it can take into account the feelings of others and have the ability to empathize.

if you can keep your mouth shut, it is a person's best feng shui.

it is wisdom to talk shallowly without telling the truth;

it is self-restraint not to say hurtful words when angry;

it is open-minded not to complain to everyone;

people

it is humble not to say crazy things before;

it is a responsibility not to make a promise easily;

jokes don't reveal people's weaknesses, but they are kind.

I wish you and I can be a person with high EQ, with kindness at the bottom of my heart, self-cultivation in my heart, and warmth in every word I say.