Do not consume others, do not delay others, is a kind of true kindness.
Zhou Guoping once said:
"A sense of size is a sign of mature love. In interpersonal communication, you should know how to abide by the necessary distance between people."
half of my life has passed, I have come into contact with countless people, and there is nothing wrong with having several friends of the opposite sex who have good relationships.
but you must have a sense of proportion, keep a reasonable distance, and don't cross the line.
No matter how good the relationship is, don't talk about these three topics in private.
Don't speak ill of your partner
No one is perfect, everyone has shortcomings, but wise people will tolerate the shortcomings of their partners.
small shortcomings are more tolerant; big problems require patient communication between partners and concerted efforts to solve problems.
complaining about your partner to other members of the opposite sex will not only be unable to solve the problem, but will easily lead to estrangement and discord if your partner knows about it, resulting in a rift in your marriage.
because what really hurts feelings is to live together, but dislike it from the bottom of your heart.
there is a breakfast restaurant in the community. The landlady is careless: serving the wrong food and giving it to the wrong person from time to time. There have been a lot of own dramas.
once, I ordered a cage of steamed buns with leek. When the landlady brought them up, I took a bite and found that I had served the wrong steamed buns.
said to the boss, the boss brought leek steamed stuffed bun, smiling face to make amends, also did not blame the landlady.
I comforted him that he was all right. He was all old acquaintances, and I couldn't help saying, "you have such a good temper. I've never seen you get angry with your sister-in-law."
the boss smiled foolishly: "she is a careless person, but she is kind and kind to me. I can't bear to blame her."
when your partner makes a mistake, don't blindly blame it. When others blame it, you should defend it in time and defend it for your partner.
the so-called "family ugliness does not go public" is not to cover up mistakes, but to speak ill of outsiders about their own people, which is easy to create internal contradictions.
husband and wife are one, with both prosperity and loss. Emotional harmony is more important than anything else.
Don't hurt your feelings by making mistakes, let alone speak ill of your partner to other members of the opposite sex, causing unnecessary misunderstandings and injuries.
Don't talk about ambiguous topics
after entering the marriage, the passion gradually fades, and insipid becomes the main theme.
temptation is everywhere in the world. It has been dull for a long time, and many people just want to find some excitement.
slowly can not resist the freshness of contact with other members of the opposite sex, and friends of the opposite sex talk about ambiguous topics.
as everyone knows, once the topic becomes ambiguous, the friendship will change.
in the TV series "Thirty only", Xu Fengshan didn't cheat in an instant, he was a little out of line.
when his female subordinate made him a bento and bought him expensive fruit, he did not know how to avoid suspicion and gladly accepted it.
later, Lin Youyou showed his admiration for him. He didn't keep his distance. He even ate ice cream and watched fireworks with Lin Youyou.
in the face of other members of the opposite sex approaching step by step, Xu Fengshan did not refuse decisively, but gave him a chance to constantly test him.
it is wrong for Lin to get involved in other people's feelings, but flies do not bite seamless eggs.
there is a distance between people because of their closeness and remoteness. The topic of conversation will be more and more ambiguous, and the distance will be closer and closer.
any healthy relationship should have a sense of boundaries and moderation.
destroys the sense of boundaries, and the relationship is no longer pure.
having no sense of boundaries to other members of the opposite sex is the killer of intimate relationships.
Don't chat late at night
once saw the story of a netizen:
she has a male friend, Lao Zhang, who has been playing since childhood. When she was young, she went to school together and often scraped meals at each other's house.
they have maintained a pure friendship for 40 years, and the secret is:
the way they get along with each other has changed qualitatively after they got married with their partners.
the two never saw each other alone, each meeting was a gathering of two families, and they never got in touch with each other at an inappropriate time.
once, this friend was ill for a long time, but he didn't know it either. Later, after listening to others, he sent his friend Wechat to ask about it.
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although they talked a lot, but at nine o'clock, they ended the chat tacitly.
True friends don't need to keep in touch with each other often, nor do they disturb each other's lives.
when friends of the opposite sex keep talking, talking and laughing in the middle of the night, and leave their families out in the cold, it shows that the relationship between friends of the opposite sex is no longer simple.
No matter how good a friend of the opposite sex is, they still have their own families.
the best way to get along with each other is not to go deep into or disturb each other's life, and learn not to cause trouble to each other's feelings.
chatting late at night is taboo among friends of the opposite sex.
when people reach middle age, they should do subtraction.
subtract unnecessary socializing, don't have too much contact with friends of the opposite sex, don't do ambiguous things, don't cross the line.
many people are hesitant to keep their distance from friends of the opposite sex, for fear of being embarrassed and hurting others' face, so they are in a dilemma, and things become more complicated.
for behaviors that undermine the sense of boundaries, simply refuse and keep a distance is the highest EQ response.
does not consume others, does not delay others, is a kind of true kindness.
then focus your time and energy on the really important people and cherish and take good care of them.