A man may not be clever, but he cannot be out of line.
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, call a friend, "love" supreme, call a lover.
in sexual relations, "friends of the opposite sex" has always been a sensitive existence, and many people are skeptical about the friendship between men and women.
in fact, such doubts and worries are also reasonable.
when two people become friends, they are attracted by some kind of charm in each other, especially the opposite sex.
in this kind of attraction, emotional women are easy to fall into it, unable to distinguish between friendship and love, while men easily follow their physical instincts and destroy their simple friendship.
but as Zhou Guoping once said:
"A sense of size is a sign of mature love. In interpersonal communication, you should know how to abide by the necessary distance between people."
without a sense of division between friends, no matter how good a relationship is, it is difficult to last long.
you can't cross the line between friends of the opposite sex, otherwise once you cross the line, it will not only affect your friendship, but also harm your partner and family.
therefore, between members of the opposite sex, no matter how good the relationship is, they should keep the red line in their hearts and do not contact each other in this way.
No matter how good the relationship is, don't get in touch frequently
all say: "companionship is the most lasting confession."
this is true. It is inevitable to be frustrated and lonely in life, and if you are by his side at this time, it will be easy to make people feel secretly.
the reason why two people can become friends is because they have a lot of similar experiences or have a lot in common, so they often want to contact each other to talk about their lives.
but even if it is a pure friendship, no matter how good the relationship is, frequent contact with each other will bring unnecessary trouble to each other and affect each other's life.
do you remember Luo Zijun in the first half of my Life?
while many people applaud her continuous self-improvement, I regret that her friendship with Tang Jing has broken for many years because she has no sense of scale.
Luo Zijun knows full well that he Han is the lover of his sister Tang Jing who has been in love for many years, so he is not shy about asking him for help in everything.
although Tang Jing specifically asked he Han to take care of her, when she found that her mind had changed, she did not reduce her contacts with he Han, which eventually led to he Han's feelings for herself, causing the originally stable relationship to fall apart.
Love begins with mutual dependence.
if you often contact friends of the opposite sex and often ask for help from friends of the opposite sex, it is difficult to ensure that the other person does not receive some misleading signals, and it is difficult to ensure that you will not get caught up in this emotion, thus making the relationship between them out of control.
there is nothing wrong with helping once or twice, but asking for help all the time, every day, is a kind of loss of propriety. For a long time, even if the other person does not care, it is impossible to ensure that others will not think too much.
therefore, friends of the opposite sex, what can not be done frequently, to what extent, the heart should be very clear.
otherwise, once you lose your sense of propriety, the value of this friendship will disappear.
No matter how close the relationship is, don't meddle in family affairs
Family matters are privacy and secrets that only belong to husband and wife.
this is supposed to be an unstated "taboo" between all friends, not to ask questions, let alone prying, but also a tacit understanding between friends.
but in real life, especially women's friends, sometimes they can't control their own mind of meddling, always accustomed to giving advice on other people's family chores, and always giving advice on the conflicts between husband and wife.
maybe some friends have good intentions, but not in a proper way, but a large number of friends who try to interfere with the families of the opposite sex have an intention.
read a reader's message before, and she said:
"my husband has a friend of the opposite sex, and he has a good relationship. After my husband and I had differences about work, we jumped out to comfort my husband, saying that let my husband be magnanimous and don't haggle with me.
at that time, when my husband listened to her, he bowed his head and admitted his mistake to me. I still felt that my husband had changed.
as a result, we made up later. When we heard my husband talk about this, we only felt angry and blood welled up. I wish my husband would break up with her. What identity does she have to say this?
as an outsider, especially a female friend, no matter who she is speaking for, she has no position to come out and tell me about my family affairs.
it's not my little belly and chicken intestines. Who can feel comfortable when any married woman encounters such a thing? "
Man is an animal with a strong sense of territory in his feelings.
Don't meddle in other people's family affairs, which is the basic quality of getting along with friends, especially those of the opposite sex.
every family has its own difficulties, so don't meddle with things that shouldn't be your business.
frequently meddling in the family affairs of friends of the opposite sex will not only not get the gratitude of the friends, but will affect the family harmony of the friends, and make the friends' partners and even friends complain and give thanks.
therefore, no matter how close your friends are, you should pay attention to the boundaries of communication.
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Friends are just friends. If you find your own position, you will not easily cross that boundary and change the taste of friendship.
No matter how close you are, don't be ambiguous.
the same sex repel each other and the opposite sex attract each other.
in the relationship of friends of the opposite sex, it is easy to beThe other person is attracted to make some intimate actions that transcend the boundaries of friends.
but if you behave intimately for a long time, even if it is unintentional, it is easy to misunderstand others, and it will inevitably put the veil of "ambiguity" on this friendship.
Bi Shumin once said, "keeping a close distance is the most appropriate way to communicate."
it is not that there cannot be friendship between married men and women, but that friendship should not be allowed to be too close and out of line.
some time ago, "Huang Lei had an affair with Zhang Junyi in marriage" rushed to the hot search list.
it turns out that in the variety show "the Life of yearning", a series of interactions between the two people caused a lot of misunderstandings among the audience.
first of all, Huang Lei made her favorite Stewed Chicken with Three Cups Sauce for Zhang Junyi, who came from afar. Surprised and delighted, Zhang Junyi excitedly put her arms around Huang Lei's arm and rubbed her head on his arm with a shy look.
then, when eating and chatting, the two smiled at each other without scruples, and the undisguised "doting" in Huang Lei's eyes;
then, while playing the game, Huang Lei put his hand on Zhang Junyi's shoulder and tried to pull her away. Zhang Junyi grabbed teacher Huang's hand. After playing high, Zhang Junyi lay down on the ground with laughter, and teacher Huang casually stretched out his hand and pulled her up.
although many viewers explain that they are only "good friends" interactions, although these little tricks are not out of line, they make people feel that there is an indescribable "little ambiguity" among them.
in the friendship of the opposite sex, the greatest harm is not betrayal, but "
addiction to ambiguity
"and" inadvertent actions ".
blindly under the banner of "good friend" and "good friend", doing some indiscreet, extremely ambiguous actions, then no matter how good the relationship is, it is difficult to withstand the test of gossip.
the best way to maintain a strong friendship is to "keep your distance".
this distance is not snub, arrogance, disrespect, indifference, but not excessive interference in other people's lives. So far, there is a proper sense of division.
being familiar and sticking to the bottom line is the best charm in every friendship of the opposite sex.
A sense of size is the most stable adhesive of all relationships.
Sanmao once said: "No matter how close a friend is, one must not miss the measure, otherwise it will be isolated."
if you think about it, interpersonal communication is an unavoidable problem for everyone who lives in this world.
but it is a proper choice for a person to know someone, how close he is, and what he or she does.
between heterosexual friends, there is a distance, is respect, mutual respect, friendship will be Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling).
therefore, the right distance, closeness and closeness are treated differently, and the style of doing something and not doing something is the most commendable thing in a heterosexual relationship.
A man may not be clever, but he must not be out of line.
I hope we can all keep a good distance, keep a good balance between the distance and the distance, be a person with high EQ, and harvest a friendship of the opposite sex that is the icing on the cake, but not chaos.
Let's see how many people feel the same way.