A good marriage is independent and dependent on each other.
Liu Ruoying, whom I haven't seen for a long time, finally came out to reopen her business.
some time ago, Milk Tea released a new album, "each is safe." it has been six years since her last album was released.
at first glance, no film has been released for six years, which seems to be a "serious" thing for a singer, but Liu Ruoying is not sensitive to it.
"people should think I'm not going to release an album, right? So there's nothing to expect. Now all of a sudden, it's. Surperise! "
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in an interview with his new album, he talked about his current life:
"I am not ok and restricted because I want to be with my son and my family, and I cherish the time I spend with them."
she also generously shared her daily life with her husband:
"Mr. Zhong is more fashionable than himself. 3C products, Chao Brand Co-signed, he will tell her the first time. When I was doing exercise today, he played a very beautiful song. I asked him the name of the song, and then he would share it with me right away. "
since we got married in 2011, there is no need to say much about the tacit understanding between Milk Tea and her husband.
what touches me most is that she described her married life with Mr. Zhong in her book I dare to be alone in your arms:
two people go out together, go to different cinemas and watch different movies;
two people go home together, one to the left and the other to the right;
both have their own bedrooms, shared kitchens and dining rooms.
incredible, isn't it? After marriage, Liu Ruoying has been separated from her husband for 10 years.
good marriages are all "separate"
after reading the story of milk tea, I remembered a sentence:
the best love is to fall in love but not to be yourself.
when I got married, milk tea asked Mr. Zhong:
"will I never be a full-time wife at home after marriage, or will I work, sing, act, write as usual, and marry a wife with many interests?"
"it is because you are so rich and interesting that I marry you; if you marry you back, you will stop doing those things and only wash and cook for me at home. I feel that I am at a loss."
Milk tea is a cold woman who pursues herself very much.
living with my grandparents since childhood, I have no playmates of the same age and have to lie in bed and entertain myself.
at the age of 16, he went to study in the United States alone. Apart from staying with his grandparents for more than half a year when he was halfway back to Taiwan, Milk Tea lived alone for more than 20 years.
for her, life belongs to herself first, and then to others.
so she and her husband have separate bedrooms and studies, not only living in separate bedrooms, but also going out to do things and daily life separately.
they will not force each other to accommodate themselves, nor will they force themselves to cater to each other, respect each other and understand each other.
many netizens can't help but wonder: this is not like a husband and wife, they are clearly roommates!
but Liu Ruoying thinks it is a very comfortable marital state, as she said:
"because of keeping you, I feel happy; at the same time, I can feel at ease and free."
Milk Tea once confessed that she was a woman who liked to be a deserter.
when housework and work cause people to collapse, she will not hesitate to leave the mess and go to a hidden book bar in the eastern district of Taipei to deal with mail, copywriting, and creativity at work.
A few hours later, I drove home and said to my husband faintly, "actually, I'm a little unhappy today, but I'm all right."
because milk tea thinks:
"I can't live without time alone, nor can I do without a moment of breathing alone." At that moment, I could stop thinking about anything and stop thinking about others. "
nothing is more precious than the word comfort in the feelings of adults.
We can't judge which bed is the best in a marriage, but I always think:
No matter how close the relationship is, two people also need their own space.
two people respect each other's boundaries and give up their freedom in peace.
only in this way can we not forget to love ourselves while we love each other.
only in this way, when you love another person, you will also give him freedom, let him grow freely and always live.
as the milk tea said: "the perfect relationship is to be alone in the arms of a lover."
lying quietly in each other's arms and alone, this is the ultimate expression of mutual trust between two people, but also the highest state of love.
A happy marriage is to respect each other's differences
most of the time we expect love to be "one room, two people, three meals, four seasons, to spend the rest of your life with you", but in reality, "five days, six quarrels, seven vegetarians and eight meat, let me think for a moment" is the norm in love and marriage.
Gibran has an incisive exposition on marriage:
"leave some space for each other to let the wind of heaven dance among you." Love each other, but don't let love become a shackle. "
in the final analysis, the truth about love and marriage is
No one is perfect. Only by respecting each other's way of life can you love at ease.
Fruit of Life, a documentary with a score of 9.6, is a documentary about an ordinary Japanese couple.
fix oneHe is a Japanese architect and university professor. Yingzi is an ordinary housewife. They grow vegetables, fertilize, dig potatoes, dig bamboo shoots, pick cherries and cook every day. Life is dull and trivial.
Xiuichi is completely different from Hideko in living habits.
Xiuyi likes potatoes best, while Hideko hates potatoes most;
Xiu Yi likes to eat traditional Japanese-style breakfast, while Yingzi likes to eat Western-style breakfast.
Xiuichi doesn't like vegetables, but Hideko likes vegetables very much.
Xiu does things carefully and likes to tidy up. Everything is classified according to color and size and placed in a fixed position, while Yingzi is not careful enough and has a bad memory. She often forgets to turn off the gas and the faucet.
according to ordinary people's understanding, when such two people live together, they must have a small quarrel every three days and a big quarrel every five days.
but after nearly 70 years of marriage, the two have hardly quarreled or blushed.
Yingzi hates eating potatoes, but she always makes all kinds of dishes with potatoes.
their favorite breakfast is different. Yingzi makes two kinds of breakfast every day. She eats Japanese seaweed rice, and she eats western-style bread and homemade jam.
Xiuyi didn't force Hideko to get rid of the habit of forgetting things.
Hideko will forget to turn off the gas. Xiuyi wrote by the gas stove: "the gas is on, don't forget";
Hideko will forget to hang the clothes. Xiuyi wrote by the washing machine: "you are washing clothes, don't forget";
Hideko likes to buy all kinds of cutlery, although there are already many at home, Xiuichi always says, "buy it."
"Xiuichi has never interfered with my freedom, and in retrospect, he let me do what I wanted and what I wanted to buy."
everyone has the standard of an ideal partner.
but the reality is that everyone has more or less shortcomings, and the ideal partner almost does not exist.
any thoughts and thoughts that change others are draining the efforts of you and the other person, and will torture each other.
especially in an intimate relationship, couples must be independent, considerate and respectful of each other, rather than trying to control each other in the name of love, forcing each other to give up themselves, cling to and obeying themselves.
the important thing is that you don't have to give up your persistence for me, and I don't have to put aside my own opinions because of you.
No one controls each other, and no one binds each other.
it's enough to listen to your inner voice, respect each other's way of life, and make each other comfortable.
being independent and dependent on each other is the true meaning of marriage
some people say, "A happy marriage is two people living a single life in a marriage."
I agree with you.
True love is never about controlling your partner to gain control, but growing up together and tolerating each other.
Independence of each other in marriage is a philosophy of love.
in the Happiness Trio, the mode of getting along with Yu Qian and Bai Huiming, a modest sister-in-law, is the envy of many netizens.
after more than 20 years of marriage, Yu Qian and Bai Huiming, an old husband and wife, get along more like "
the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water
the emotional state of the two is very insipid, which is plain happiness.
in the program, there is very little communication between Yu Qian and his wife.
when I am at home, two people often sit in the living room, one is reading, the other is watching a play with ipad.
even without saying a word for a long time, there is no embarrassment at all.
like Gu Cheng's poem:
"the grass is knot its seed, the wind is shaking its leaves, we do not speak, standing is very beautiful."
although there is less communication, it will still appear in time when the other person needs him or herself.
Mrs. Qian wanted to eat peaches but didn't want to cut them. When Yu Qian and her eyes met, she instantly understood his wife's worry and got up and took the peaches to the kitchen.
when they brought out the cut peaches, the two looked at each other with a smile and exchanged ideas.
knowing that Mrs. Qian likes puppies, Yu Qian secretly negotiated with the dog owner and bought a dog to go home.
I stumbled carelessly on the way back and forth, and the secret joy and expectation looked like the throbbing appearance of a young man.
when Qian went out, Mrs. Qian was at home alone, leaning over her desk and writing a long letter to her husband.
after Yu Qian received it, a person read it quietly, then carefully folded it again, tied the rope on the envelope gently, and carefully put it back in the bedroom to treasure it.
the relationship between Yu Qian and his wife can be summed up in one sentence:
the heart is intimate and life is independent.
when two people are separated, they can happily do what they like, and when they are together, they can also face the wind and rain side by side and rely on each other.
this is probably the best way to get married.
as Huang Lei said:
"We are very happy when we are together, and when we are not together, we will have a good time and find our own happiness."
Shu Ting wrote in "to the Oak Tree"
"if I love you, I will never show off like a climbing sky flower with your high branches;
I must be a kapok near you, standing with you as the image of a tree;
We share the cold wave, the thunder, the thunder; we share the mist, flowing haze, rainbow. It seems to be separated forever, but depend on each other for life. "
any relationship is like this, to find a balance between the two sides, independent of each other can also rely on each other, feel comfortable, do not be aggrieved, do not make do with, is the most appropriate.
A good marriage is independent and dependent on each other.
A good lover dares to be independent and dependent.