Live in your own life and give out your own light.
there is a hot topic on Weibo: "Why do more and more people begin to disappear in moments?"
countless netizens left messages for discussion, telling the truth behind it.
"feel small and unimportant";
"I'm blocked by a lot of people";
"in fact, no one cares about what you write in your moments, and no one will finish reading your long speech, let alone notice what you want to say after a second."
when I was young, I always felt that I was the center of the crowd, and everyone revolved around me.
as we get older, we come to realize that we are not as important as we think.
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writer Dean said:
"when we were young, we thought that we were the only people in the world, until one day we realized that we were just an ordinary person in the crowd, and we grew up."
Don't attach too much importance to yourself, don't expect too much from others, be yourself, be close and close.
this is the greatest truth of interpersonal communication.
when a well-known host first became famous, he thought highly of himself.
with a pride of youth, he instinctively regards himself as the protagonist on the stage.
every time he comes out, he has to prepare carefully, and even prepare all kinds of famous quotes in advance to rehearse his every move, every look in his eyes, and expect to be a blockbuster.
but even though his performance has been very hard and professional, he is still unknown.
until later, he gradually realized that the audience was not here for him, but for the interviewer.
then he began to know how to leave room for others properly and give up the position of "protagonist".
when he began to "despise" himself, he finally found the state that the host should have, and only then did he have the classic that dominated the screen.
Carnegie once said:
"if we just want to show ourselves in front of others and make them interested in us, we will never have many real and sincere friends."
the more you try too hard, the easier it is to ask for it.
as the old saying goes, "Wise men are good at condescending, but fools often stretch out their heads."
people who are really mature know how to lower themselves.
sometimes, circuitous concession is also a kind of fulfillment, for when others are fulfilled, they are fulfilled for themselves.
under that Weibo topic, there is another highly liked message.
Lao Zhang and Lao Li used to be brothers with deep feelings.
when everyone was a teenager with little to eat, Lao Zhang's family was better off. He often wrapped a few pieces of meat in paper secretly and took them to school to share with Lao Li.
at that time, Lao Li was thin and often bullied. Lao Zhang stood up for him without saying a word.
they grew up, and Lao Li made a little money in business these years, so when his child was sick and in urgent need of money, Lao Zhang spoke to him almost instinctively.
Lao Li looked embarrassed, saying that he was preparing to expand the store recently and also needed cash flow.
before he had finished his words, Lao Zhang suddenly turned gray, waved his hands in disappointment and left.
later, Lao Zhang's child was cured and discharged from the hospital. when he got out of the taxi with a big bag and a small bag, he happened to
I came across the Lao Li family getting into a new car happily.
Mr. Yang Jiang said: "the good things in the world are not strong, and the colored clouds are easy to disperse and the glass is brittle."
the relationship between people cannot be overestimated.
most of the time, you think you are honest with others, but he treats you as a casual acquaintance.
you think you hit it off, but in each other's heart, you just meet by chance.
on this point, a passage by the writer Ma de poked the truth:
"I gradually understand why I am not happy, because I always expect a result, look forward to the truth
now that I breathe a sigh of relief, I don't realize it. I feel sorry for myself. "
A lot of troubles in the world are caused by the failure of expectations.
Love is too deep to live long, but wisdom is bound to hurt.
when dealing with people, we should pay attention to moderation, do not do things that embarrass people, and do not mention requests that cross the line.
Don't try too hard, and you shouldn't expect too much.
if you live to a certain age, you will eventually learn to be close to each other and take it calmly.
the heroine Oshima once lived a very miserable life in the Japanese TV series the New Life of Yoshima.
the most thing she does every day is to watch her words and be careful to please.
she took the initiative to take the blame for an error in the product launch;
she obviously wanted to eat the bento she had prepared, but when her colleague invited her to lunch, she could not refuse.
her colleague asked her to help her work overtime, and she agreed.
but she didn't get into the circle and get the so-called friends.
one day, a colleague asked Oshima to stay and help print the material on the grounds that his family had a fracture.
in the mobile group chat message left by her colleague, she discovered the truth:
people not only made an appointment to go to the party without her, but also privately talked about all kinds of ridicule and sarcasm in the group, saying that she was "easy to use and a bad person".
until she decided to throw everything away and come to the country.
stay away from relationships that are not worth it and start a life of her own.The world just opened
begins to become simple.
there is a term in psychology, "I always belong", that is, no one can exist instead of others, the world is their own, has nothing to do with others.
instead of trying to please, learn to accept yourself.
We are often unhappy because we overestimate our position in the eyes of others, or
misunderstand the extent to which others pay attention to themselves.
the older you get, the more you understand this.
the so-called growth means that happiness is digested by itself and pain is shared.
I have heard such a passage, which is very heart-stirring but also realistic:
"at the age of 20, we worry about what other people think of us;
at the age of 40, we ignore what other people think of us;
60, we find that other people don't think of us at all.
as I get older, I find that life is a process of realizing that "I am not important".
lowering yourself, detour creeping is also a kind of accomplishment;
Don't overestimate your position in the hearts of others, just try your best to be close and close to others.
stay away from complex personnel, give up the vanity in the spotlight, and find the true meaning of life.
just live your own life and give out your own light.