May you, early on by your own efforts, have a home of your own.
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small tea night reading
when I was browsing the video two days ago, I was stung by a copywriter, a very short sentence:
"Girls don't have a home when they grow up."
when I live alone, I am Party B in the rental house, like a traveler in my parents' house; after getting married, I am a guest in my mother's house and an outsider in my mother's house.
later, I gradually understood the line Chen Shu said in the play:
"I must have my own house, and no one is going to kick me out of my house.
it turns out that people who advise you to save money seriously, work hard, put your career first, and make sure you have a house of your own, even if the area is smaller, are never talking to you about chicken soup.
that is the experience summed up by the majority of married women to unmarried girls with tears.
having dinner with a friend at the end of last month, she told me with a wry smile about a conversation with her child.
she quarreled with her husband that day and said angrily that she couldn't live any longer and wanted to take the children home.
my daughter stood by and answered foolishly, "Mom, whose house are you going back to?"
the friend did not hesitate and said, "go back to my house, of course."
"which is your home, Mom?"
my daughter asked her with innocence and doubt in her eyes, "is this Grandma's house?" Or Grandma's? "
my friend said to me:
"at that moment I suddenly couldn't hold back my tears. I have been a full-time housewife at home since I was pregnant, but I suddenly feel that after being a wife and a mother, I seem to have changed from a good girl to a good babysitter.
in fact, even children know that I don't have a home. "
before getting married, I thought that my mother-in-law's family would be my own home, and I would have a small home for shelter from the wind and rain with the person I like.
but when you get married, you will find that many of the big winds and waves in your life are brought by the person who once said he would give you an umbrella to protect you from the rain.
it's only natural for her mother-in-law to treat you like a daughter. The first thing she remembers must be her son's favorite dish.
she will be nice to you, too, but when there is a contradiction, she will still be on her son's side.
if I have been aggrieved in my emotional life, it is not easy to tell my parents that they are afraid of getting angry.
also wondered that he was at least an adult with a family and a family. When he married the one he liked, how could his days still be in a mess.
so often get angry and slam the door and look at each other, but do not know where to go.
finally, it was a person who swallowed those disappointments and sufferings.
I suddenly remembered that I had received a comment from a reader on Wechat.
she has been with her boyfriend for many years, and her relationship has been very stable. The boy has a house that has already made a down payment. They live in it together and pay them back together.
they also bought a car together. The boy is very good at driving, and he usually picks her up wherever she wants to go, so the girl never gets her driver's license.
until one day, she found another girl in a boy's mobile phone.
she said: "when I went out with my suitcase and opened the taxi interface but didn't know where to go, I suddenly hated myself for muddling along over the past few years."
when the brightness and brilliance of the wedding hall are shredded by chicken and dog, when countless numb moments even give up the idea of giving up everything, I will suddenly think of that girl who used to laugh and make noise.
lose the light in her eyes?
it may be from the time when the dispute is stuck in the mouth and there is only silence left, or it may be in the process that pots and pans change from messy to tidy every day, or in the passing of children's ignorance and incomprehension.
did you lose yourself in the days when you collapsed alone and then quietly healed?
it seems that girls really have no home when they grow up.
most mothers seldom go to their daughter's house because they think it is someone else;
some mothers-in-law often go to their son's house because they think it is their own home.
so it seems that a woman always has to switch at least between the three roles of wife, mother and wife.
so it seems very difficult for girls to be themselves again when they grow up.
like the phrase widely circulated in "there is a woman":
"I have longed all my life to be hidden, properly placed, and carefully preserved. Spare me the pain, the fear, the exodus, the lack of branches. "
but the second half of its sentence actually goes like this:
"but that man, I know, I always knew, he would never come."
however, after saying so much today, I don't want you to be frustrated with this reality. on the contrary, what I hope is that you and I both have more choices.
feelings are never the whole of life. If you know the truth of life earlier, start planning your own retreat earlier.
We should all know that no matter how warm the copilot is, he can't step on the accelerator and hold the steering wheel, and the comfortable "other people's house" is not as good as his own real estate.Can bring more peace of mind.
the sense of security a girl really needs is the gas in the car, the money in the card, the key in the pocket and the ability to think and survive independently.
We should all understand that the appearance of others is just the icing on the cake. The snowy night in life is difficult, and you can only get through it by yourself.
it's not your parents, your husband, or material things that you fight for the rest of your life, but you can really be your own big lady.
there is the ability to go as soon as you can, and the strength to take root on the ground. You can taste your own joys and sorrows, and you can carry your own joys and sorrows.
you can give, but you don't have to be aggrieved, you can bear it, but you don't have to bear it.
first of all, you can afford to give yourself what you want to buy, the distance you want to go, and the sense of security you need.
finally, I borrow a sentence that I like very much in "step forward" and share it with all the girls:
"I hope you can get through the difficult times ahead and gain greater strength and determination;
I hope you can balance your lives and look for them with your eyes wide open.
I also hope that you will be enterprising, devote yourselves to your career, and control the world. "
you have to remember that when it's time to grow up, you can't be a child anymore.
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if the world forces you to change, then you grit your teeth and cut through difficulties to win a place for yourself.
", may you be gentle and strong, independent and free;
May you be sober and self-disciplined, may you know the truth and know the advance and retreat;
I wish you, by your own efforts, to have a home of your own.