Never thank the person who hurt you.
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in recent years, there is a popular saying of chicken soup on the Internet:
"Please thank the person who tripped you, because he taught you independence; thank the person who hurt you, because he made you who you are today."
this sentence does not know how many people have been "bewitched"-if they refuse to forgive, they are satirized and narrow-minded; if they are bitter about harm, they are accused of being penny-pinching.
however, the injury can never be thanked because it cannot be made up for.
the person who hurt you will never know how you managed to survive in the dark.
if you really give it to the wrong person, you will only get a chill; if you forgive the wrong person, you will only suffer.
Mr. Lu Xun once said: "damage other people's teeth, but oppose revenge, and those who advocate tolerance should never get close to him."
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this sentence comes from his masterpiece, "death", which is also an important part of his will.
means that those who hurt others while demanding that they "cannot retaliate and be tolerant" should never get close to him.
because such people are the most "evil" people.
there is a poetess who published a collection of poems, Moonlight on the left hand, in which she wrote:
"if I send you a book, I will not send you a poem. I will give you a book about plants, about crops, to tell you the difference between rice and barnyard grass, and to tell you the fearful spring of a barnyard weed."
she wrote such a beautiful poem, but she has been living in purgatory.
when she was born with cerebral palsy due to lack of oxygen, she was unable to move all her life. She dropped out of high school and went home, then was forced to marry a man with no emotional foundation.
the marriage brought her more long and intense pain--
my husband is a tramp. He has no job or studied. He is so grumpy that he often pushes her head against the wall until he is relieved.
when she went through countless hard days and nights alone, and finally saved enough money for divorce, her husband not only asked her for 1 million of the divorce fee, but also unscrupulously vilified her.
the outside world also criticized her, saying that she "forgets grace, should not get divorced, and will abandon her husband who once shared joys and sorrows when she has money."
but no one ever wanted to know how much she had been hurt.
someone once said, "spectators love the drama of forgiveness and redemption, and they all like happy endings."
but the really mature spectator is to know the difficulties of others, so they will not casually blame, let alone slander others at will.
it is not only a kind of "hypocrisy", but also a kind of ignorance to "kidnap" each other with one's own moral standards.
for the person who has been hurt, not taking revenge is already the greatest forgiveness.
when visiting the temple, Xue Daoheng, a waiter of the Sui Dynasty, asked the monk who accompanied him:
"Why do King Kong's eyes open angrily, but other Bodhisattvas look low?"
the young monk said, "King Kong was angry, so he surrendered the four demons; the Bodhisattva lowered his eyebrows, so he showed mercy six ways."
in the past, I advised people to be a "bodhisattva with low eyebrows", which warmed people in the invisible; now I know that there are too many "demons" in life, and it takes a "glaring" to be intimidated.
in other words, the more you make unprincipled concessions to those who hurt you, the more they will go further; when you get tough, they will start to become soft.
Tan Chun in A Dream of Red Mansions has a nickname "Rose", which means "the United States with thorns".
when she was temporarily in charge of Jia's affairs, some people saw that she was still young and deliberately used things to make things difficult for her, and she responded forcefully.
over time, the naughty aunts and six aunts in the family were all afraid of Tan Chun, and she became more and more smoothly in doing things, and even Wang Xifeng wanted to give her three points.
on one occasion, someone laughed at Tanchun as a "concubine", lifting her clothes in public and being complacent afterwards, relying on the fact that he was the first wife's companion.
Tan Chun did not say much, but directly slapped each other in the face, merciless.
for a while, the accompanying room was stunned, and the whole government was shocked.
"Tan Chun's slap in the face is earth-shaking, resounding through the sky, Yingying around the beam for three hundred years."
people's stupidity lies in not knowing how to establish their own bottom line.
A bottomless forgiveness is conniving at the "evil" of others and asking for trouble.
psychologist Zhang Defen once said, "between individuals, there is often a relationship that devours each other."
do not understand the truth of "the decline of one and the other", if you do not increase your own defense, you can only wait to be swallowed up by the other.
put up thorns all over your body when necessary, and those who want to hurt you will not dare to come any closer.
Lin Qingxuan once said:
"imperfections and imbalances encountered in life are the best enlightenment in life, just as dark clouds and storms are the best revelations in the sky."
this sentence means that it is not the injury that makes you strong, but your tenacity in the face of high winds and showers that makes you strong.
what makes people grow is not to hurt, but to try to heal themselves.
Bi Shumin, a famous writer, has a "taboo", that is, she never opens her mouth to sing.
this "taboo" comes from an experience she had in primary school.
11-year-old Bi Shumin joined the class.During the singing contest, because she was out of tune, she was publicly scolded by the teacher for "a mouse shit spoiled a pot of soup" and said that she "bowed her neck and collapsed her waist", so that she only spoke to the mouth and could not make a sound when singing in chorus.
from then on, whenever Bi Shumin thought of the humiliation she had suffered that day, she never dared to sing again and was even afraid to speak in public.
it was not until I studied psychology that I gradually came out of the shadow of childhood.
later, she discovered her talent in writing and became an excellent writer.
talking about this experience, some people say:
"she should thank the teacher. Had it not been for the humiliation of her singing, she would not have discovered her talent and would not have achieved what she is now."
but her achievements are entirely the result of her own efforts.
the only irreversible harm brought by that experience has become an inextricable knot that still exists in the heart decades later:
"the red scars still emit scorched smoke decades later."
there are too many people in this world who are doing things that hurt you under the banner of "for your own good".
in the face of such people, just keep one thing in mind:
all your strength has nothing to do with him; what you should be most grateful for is yourself who has worked hard to heal from the injury.
the reason why I don't hate is because it is meaningless.
instead of sinking in injury, it is better to come out, put on your armor and start again.
Don't thank the people who hurt you, because they hurt not only you, but also your family.
someone gets hurt just like you because they love you; because they love you, they hate themselves and can't bear the pain for you
an emotional blogger wrote a paragraph:
"the people who hurt you don't help you grow into a better person, but cut you off from the best things in a rude way that could have helped you deal with the cruelty of the world.
now, the only way you can deal with it is to make yourself more cold. "
the hard heart of adults is not inborn, but constantly forged in the day-to-day crackdown of life.
there is a conclusion in psychology-
there are two decisive factors for a person to get out of sadness:
one is to maintain good contact with others and to draw strength from others; the other is to believe in the power of life itself.
never thank the person who hurt you, but thank yourself--
Thank you for being reborn in pain again and again, and for choosing to be kind after experiencing despair.
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