Reconcile the past, cherish the present, and believe in the future.
above the point
the hit drama "Little willing" has finally ushered in the big ending.
◆ Nanli and Tian Yulan were at odds with each other for a time, and the two plastic sisters actually tolerated and reconciled with each other.
◆ also chose to reconcile her stepmother, who had been involved in her own family.
◆ shrewd, competitive, competitive Tian Yulan can begin to accept children's imperfections and let them develop.
the Mi Tao family, which ◆ worked hard to take root in the big city, also moved into a big house with the help of many kind-hearted people.
some people say that the ending has designed the most satisfactory ending for all families, which is too idealized and disappointing.
indeed, TV dramas magnify the best side of human nature, but cover up the evil hidden in people.
how many lives have such a happy ending in life?
drama has come to an end, and we are back to ordinary life itself. These seven profound truths are worth cherishing!
you can never imagine how much your child loves you
Xia Junshan is a famous "daughter slave" who never loses her temper with her children.
until she tutored Huanhuan with her homework, she found that she was procrastinating, didn't take her attitude seriously, and even lazy to read comics.
he couldn't help losing his temper with Huanhuan, and the child was once scolded to vomit.
Xia Junshan originally thought that his daughter would hold a grudge against him and never kiss her again. Unexpectedly, when the child woke up, she hugged him and said she loved her father most.
most of the time, we always feel that children cannot understand their own pains.
do not realize that children are far more considerate and warm than we thought.
when we beat and scold the child, he cries and asks you to hug him; no matter what his parents look like, he will not dislike you; when he sees his parents being wronged, he will stand up for you even if he is small.
they may be worrying academically and life, but they are also giving back their parents' love in their own way.
perhaps, parents' love for their children has strings attached, and they think that their children study well is the greatest reward to them.
but there are no strings attached to children's love and trust in their parents. no matter how much the parents ask, the children will love them wholeheartedly.
it is cruel to let a child grow up too early
Mi Tao, who transferred from rural areas to big cities, can be said to be sensible and distressing in the play.
the family lives in a noisy and messy vegetable market. Because of the limited living conditions, Mi Tao's entertainment is skipping rope near the public toilet.
she understands that it is not easy for her parents to make money, and helps her father set up a fruit business after finishing her homework every day.
watching her parents worry about the high tuition fees, she clenched her teeth and said she was on her own, though she wanted to go.
she rewarded her hard-working parents and warmed the barren home with her first grade in every class.
until she was bullied by her classmates at school and complained to her parents about her grievances at home, but her mother indiscriminately blamed her for being ignorant, the "sensible" little girl cried for the first time:
"Why should I always be sensible?"
by contrast, Xia Huanhuan, who is the same age as Mi Tao, is also a sister, but she has always been childish of her age, can cry and make noise, and dares to express her joys and sorrows.
mature and sensible is certainly a good thing, but many adults forget that in this world, in addition to being sensible and mature, there are two words called "aggrieved" and "unhappy".
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Children who are sensible too early will look carefully at the faces of adults every day, losing the presumption and capriciousness they should have at that age.
Winnicott once said: it is sad if a person is too normal to lose his wildness.
for parents, letting their children grow up prematurely is actually a kind of cruel upbringing.
"widowed" marriage is an eternal pain in a woman's heart
the role of Tian Yulan is really unlikable.
she gave her children a chicken-and-blood education, and she competed with Nan Li openly and secretly.
apart from the reasons of the original family, the most important thing is the lack of the role of husband in the family.
Yan Peng is indifferent to his son's education, and it is Tian Yulan who constantly urges his children to study.
Yan Peng can only play games at home, and Tian Yulan alone is responsible for the diet and daily life of the family of three.
in addition, Yan Peng has been living on the support of his parents and does not strive for progress. Tian Yulan forces his children to study and does not want him to follow in his father's footsteps.
in Tian Yulan's marriage, the responsibility shared by husband and wife fell on his wife alone.
do housework, keep an eye on children's studies, and worry about their parents' old age. There is no one to share the difficulties, grievances have no place to resolve, obviously have a husband but like a son.
in life, many men come home, put their bags away, take off their shoes, and lie down on the sofa, either playing mobile phones or playing games.
in their view, the children grow up in an instant, the floor at home is clean, the food is fragrant, and the clothes are always washed and put neatly by yourself. when you can't find anything, you only need to shout and someone will deliver it to your wife.
living under the same roof and eating in the same pot is obviously a battlefield for two people, but only one person is seen carrying a gun to fight.
the movie "the greatest Father in the World" has a line:
"I once thought that the worst thing in the world was to die alone.Actually, no, the worst thing is to end up with people who make you feel lonely. "
the ultimate meaning of marriage is that two people join hands to fight monster promotion, rather than one side charging in front, the other just want to be a deserter.
accepting the ordinary is our lifelong practice
the root cause of many people's anxiety in their lives is that they cannot accept their own mediocrity and cannot reconcile with themselves.
Tian Yulan has been running leisurely in various tutoring classes almost every day since kindergarten, in order to show Ziyou's excellence and to be better than Nanli at the family banquet.
when Ziyou's grades deteriorated, Tian Yulan's sky seemed to collapse, and all kinds of ways were looking for the god of teaching.
Xia Junshan, who has always pursued quality education, heard the teacher comment that Huanhuan was "not smart." he was so angry that he got into a fight with the teacher, and the couple also began to sign up for various classes, and even went to war to coach themselves.
look at Huanhuan's lack of progress, the two of them can no longer be tied up, and they are furious.
parents cannot accept the mediocrity of their children. In essence, they cannot accept their own mediocre life.
when we have unfulfilled dreams and unfinished prospects, we always want our children to realize them for themselves.
but if healthy, if happy, if not against their own wishes, our children, why not be a kind ordinary person?
being able to teach children to live an ordinary day is the most extraordinary thing we have ever done in our lives.
Learning to quit is the highest level of parenthood
Tian Yulan's parents-in-law do not like her, on the one hand, because her mother has "intervened" in other people's marriage; on the other hand, she looks down on Tian Yulan's work and always wants her to have a second child.
every month, my parents-in-law will pay the living expenses to the couple directly on the excuse that they can't transfer money online.
but in fact, they want to suppress Tian Yulan's arrogance in this way and let her understand that the good life at present depends on them.
her mother-in-law even ridiculed her for being "born from a small family and can't get rid of her hasty eating appearance."
when he heard that Sun Tzu's grades had improved, he praised Tian Yulan as his own hero, and once the child had a problem, he blamed her for being a vicious mother.
many parents are still reluctant to let go after their children get married, often telling them what to do in their lives and want to get involved in everything.
but I don't know that this kind of participation with no sense of boundaries will only produce a "giant baby" son and a disgruntled daughter-in-law.
parents learn to quit appropriately in their old age, which is not only a kind of accomplishment and respect, but also the highest state to get along with their children.
parents who do not know how to let go are a burden to their children.
the wounds of native families have to be healed on their own
Xia Junshan's childhood was gray, and he always lived in his mother's negation and reproach.
after breaking up with his mother again, he left with his son, only to find the gloves slipped in by his mother in his son's pocket.
he realized that his mother had always loved himself, but she was not good at expressing it.
he took the initiative to hug his mother as he did when he was a child, which can be regarded as a formal reconciliation with his former self.
many people's bad lives are habitually attributed to their original families, but the injuries suffered in childhood do not prevent us from having a good life.
at most, it is only the first half of your life, and as an adult, what your life is, how your family is, and the choice is up to you.
Life is a self-healing process. The life of the moment may not be what you want, but you can create the life of tomorrow.
Keigo Higano said, "everyone wants to be born in a good family, but they can't choose their parents." What kind of card is given to you, you can only play it as well as possible. "
reconcile with the original family, with your parents, or at least with yourself.
Don't let yourself be the one you used to hate the most, and don't pass on the harm to your child.
you have to give up before you have a life, but you have to give up first
Tian Yulan, who has been in the state of "attack", learned to "give up" and later got "gain".
she gave up her impatient utilitarianism and got the thoughtfulness of her son and husband.
she gave up her competitive spirit and got the sincerity of Nan Li and Nan Jianlong.
some people, always can not let go of the past, can not let go of some people and things, let themselves worry all day.
do not realize that only when you give up everything can you get it, and if you don't give up, you won't.
give up a little desire, get a happy life; give up a little vanity, get family happiness; give up a little obsession, get life release.
there are so few perfect things in life that we can't want everything.
those who want everything are doomed to worry about gain and loss and get nothing.
people are contented and cherish their blessings.
there is a question on Zhihu: why are people not happy when their material life is getting better and better?
A high praise answer is like this: people's desires are endless, with good want better, with better want the best.
in retrospect, life is really difficult, but it doesn't seem to be that bad.
the studies, careers, and families that we desperately pursue seem to find our own way after ten or twenty years.
Life has regrets and contradictions.
everyone has different purposes and ways of living. We should learn to add a filter to life, be considerate of the difficulties of our parents and accept them.The imperfection of the child, the imperfection of the lover.
among the troubles of chicken feathers, there is always some light that makes us believe:
as long as you live brightly, love sincerely, and make unremitting efforts, tomorrow will be better.
May we all know how to reconcile the past, cherish the present, and believe in the future.
May we all know how to take a small step in front of us and take a big step in our lives!
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