The most advanced way to deal with an accident is cold treatment.
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some people say that living a life is like boxing. The more impatient you are, the more likely you are to lose your footing.
it is true that nine times out of ten people are unhappy in life, and once the state of mind collapses, things will only get worse.
many regrets in life are often caused by impulse.
it is the highest level of self-discipline for adults to deal with things coldly.
Let me tell you two stories.
the first story comes from the narration of the author Wu Xiaowu.
on a rainy day, Lao Zhang and his wife collided with a motorcycle with an illegal left turn.
seeing that the car is just a scratch, Lao Zhang is ready to go private with the owner of the car.
seeing this, Lao Zhang couldn't help burning with anger:
"you can smash it, don't I have hands? I smashed it, too! I hit harder than you, let's see who's hard! "
seeing that the situation was wrong, the wife on one side quickly grabbed him: "Don't be impulsive, can anger solve the problem?"
his wife was so nervous that his palms were all sweaty, which excited Lao Zhang, and he soon calmed down.
he stood by and watched the other party smash the car and drive away, but he didn't say a word.
Ten minutes later, the traffic police arrived at the scene.
A month later, the verdict came out:
motorcyclists who make illegal turns, commit hit-and-run accidents and intentionally damage other people's property shall be punished together for three crimes.
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not only had his driver's license revoked, but also a huge fine and compensation had to be paid.
seeing the perpetrator stamping his feet with hammerhead on the spot, Lao Zhang could not help but rejoice in his heart:
"it's a good thing my wife saved me, otherwise I might have a swollen eye and a lame leg, and I might even have a criminal record."
the second story is the two personal experiences of media man Li Xiaoyi.
in the year she first started working, she returned to the rental house one night and found that the door lock was broken.
tossed about up and down for a long time, but still couldn't open it.
after walking all day during the day, I was tired and sleepy. As a result, I ran into such a bad thing when I got home.
she felt irritable and aggrieved, so she couldn't help calling her boyfriend in a different place to complain.
as a result, the two men did not deal with each other for a few words and quarreled hard on the phone for almost an hour.
Li Xiaoyi, who was already full of anger, suddenly broke out this time.
she first called her parents far away, wiping away her tears and complaining.
then cried and woke up a large family of grandpa and uncle in the same city.
it was the middle of the night after everyone came all the way to her house and picked the lock.
A group of people were exhausted and finally had to turn back in a hurry.
at the end of last month, the same scene happened again dramatically:
almost ten o'clock in the evening, Li Xiaoyi came home from work and found that the lock of the apartment could not be opened.
she looked at the closed door and remembered the chicken feather night twenty years ago.
then, three options quickly pop up in my mind:
first, call the housekeeper aunt and try it with a spare key.
second, let the unlocking company pick the lock;
third, let's go out for one night and talk about it tomorrow.
thinking that she had a job the next day, she quickly checked into the nearest hotel and made an appointment to unlock the lock the next day.
this time, the whole process took her less than half an hour.
Why tell these two stories?
because the more I have experienced over the years, the more I agree with one sentence:
"most of the troubles in life are caused by our emotions, not because things are too bad to handle."
when you encounter unpleasant things, you begin to get restless and turn very simple things into a mess.
he was chatting with his friends, and he didn't choose his words when he didn't agree with him. As a result, he ruined a very close relationship.
having conflicts with people, he lost his temper for a while, but in the end, the matter was not resolved, causing a series of troubles.
in the end, the emotion is over, but the hurt and regret are forever.
psychologist Festinger proposed a famous rule:
10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react.
in other words, 10% of the things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are beyond our control.
A lot of things, if you deal with them in another way, you may end up in a different way.
just like the two stories I just told:
it is always inevitable to have bumps and bumps when driving, so just leave it to the traffic police to deal with it.
it is common that the key is lost and the door lock is broken. Call a lock master and you can solve it in less than half an hour.
acting blindly and impulsively will only lead to more big problems with small problems.
if you control your emotions, you can avoid more than half of your troubles in life.
later, when I talked about the experience of breaking the lock twice, I was deeply impressed by a passage from teacher Li Xiaoyi:
"two things are 20 years apart, but the situation is the same, but the results are very different. Why? Because my emotional maturity has changed.I began to know how to deal with problems before venting my emotions. "
people will inevitably encounter unpleasant things when they are alive.
truly mature people all know how to be their own ferryman quietly.
when I first entered the workplace, I met a highly respected boss.
once the department received a very urgent project temporarily, and everyone stayed up for several nights.
I was about to finish, but I encountered an unexpected situation:
the docking media manager missed the customer's newly added project requirements, which means that all the previous work has to be done all over again.
at this point, the submission time is less than 20 hours away.
someone called the media for an explanation, but the other party not only did not apologize, but also tried to pass the buck.
everyone was so angry that they hopelessly thought that the project was going to be finished.
then I saw the boss go to the bathroom to wash his face and soon return to work.
while calling and applying for two experienced helpers, he redivided the work according to the needs of new customers:
"Don't be angry, we still have time, don't we?"
under his comfort, everyone soon calmed down.
A group of people worked until the next morning and finally finished changing the plan by the deadline.
I worked under him for two years, and the most important thing I learned was:
the most advanced way to deal with an accident is cold treatment.
it is hard to avoid thorny things in work, family or life.
as the old saying goes, things are urgent and slow, and things are round when things are slow.
when the mood is stable, the mind can be clear.
calm down before you can make the right choice.
finally, I would like to give you a paragraph that benefits me a lot:
"there are too many difficulties in adult life, but one should not live in a mood."
you are an adult, so you should learn to put things aside, put the gas away, and know how to handle things coldly. "
living a life is troubles stacked with troubles, troubles chasing troubles.
in all bad moods, you are the last to pay the bill.
always remember: don't say anything when you're angry, don't argue when you're upset, and don't make up your mind when you're in trouble.
give yourself a chance to calm down and things will have room for manoeuvre.
only by being the master of emotions can you control your own life and win the reward of life.
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