Even as parents, you can't be too selfless.
Lao Zhao is ill with advanced liver cancer.
I felt that the sky was falling. I trembled and called my son Zhao Feng abroad to talk about it. Zhao Feng asked if it was a misdiagnosis.
the flames of hope rose in my heart and said eagerly, "Why don't you go back to the country and take your father to the big city to have a look at the experts?"
Zhao Feng was silent for a few seconds before he said he was busy and answered the phone while he went to the toilet. It was even more difficult to ask for leave.
he asked me to take Lao Zhao to Beijing for a revisit. If I'm too busy, I'll hire a nurse. Don't save money.
after hanging up the phone, I remembered that I didn't know how to buy a high-speed train ticket. There was no answer when I called again.
I was worried about Lao Zhao's illness, so I quickly entrusted him to my neighbor and ran to the west of the city to ask my nephew how to buy a high-speed train ticket.
my nephew saw that my forehead was covered with sweat and said, "Auntie, just give me a call about this next time. I'll buy a ticket for you. You don't have to go there."
my nephew poked his fingers on the mobile phone screen as he spoke, and casually asked me what I was doing in Beijing.
I dare not say that Lao Zhao is ill. My son let the old couple go to the city to see a doctor by themselves. I only vaguely said that Lao Zhao was not feeling well, so I planned to take him to the big city for an examination and visit Beijing on the way.
on hearing this, the nephew immediately said, "Auntie, why didn't you say so earlier?" What's wrong with my uncle? "
and immediately returned the newly bought high-speed rail ticket, saying that he happened to be free these two days, so he could drive my couple to Beijing.
I hurriedly stopped it and felt embarrassed.
nephew's final decision:
Auntie, don't argue with me, it's settled. Uncle is not feeling well, let you two old people go to Beijing by themselves, in case something happens, my mother will skin me.
are all members of the family. If you need anything in the future, just let me know in the family, and we won't refuse when we can use it.
my nephew sent me home before leaving. I hid in the toilet and cried.
for fear of Chao Po-Tao's hearing, I covered my mouth and dared not cry, and tears rolled silently on my face.
when I went back to the house, Lao Zhao asked me, what did my son say?
I told my son's arrangement. Lao Zhao let out a long sigh and said nothing again.
I know in my heart that Chao Po-Tao probably regrets raising his son too "excellently" like me.
since childhood, Zhao Feng has been what adults call "other people's children" and a "public enemy" in the eyes of all the kids in the courtyard, just because he never has to worry about reading and has always been among the best in the grade.
Lao Zhao and I are both teachers. we know the importance of education and are willing to spend money on raising our sons.
the couple send their son to various excellent classes and Mathematical Olympiad classes, rain or shine, and do not let him touch his hands in housework, allowing him to spend all his time on his studies.
Zhao Feng did not let us down either. He was sent to the top universities in China with excellent grades during the college entrance examination, and then went abroad to study and work after graduation, with an astonishingly high salary.
those years were the most glorious time for us.
Primary and secondary schools often send cars to pick us up to teach students and parents the experience of teaching their children.
praise our children for being a rare talent.
when my parents mentioned this promising grandson, they were even more happy from ear to ear, and often compared my sister's two sons, shaking their heads and sighing that they were the mud that could not hold up the wall.
the two of us can't restrain our inner joy, and we can turn to our son no matter what topic we talk to.
in those years, I especially liked to visit relatives' houses and listen to the admiration and flattery of others. I thought it was worth it to tighten my belt and raise my children.
as I got older, people around me no longer compared their children's grades to those of my daughter-in-law, son-in-law and grandson. Only later did I realize that the wind had changed.
Zhao Feng took root in Germany after graduation. although the family was not rich, we sold the house in the city and sold the money and all the savings to help our son buy a house abroad.
We went back to our ancestral house in the village, and our neighbors always teased us that we were going to Germany for our old age in the future.
whenever I smile with reserve, I look forward to that day in my heart.
with this idea in mind, we began to urge marriage every day.
but it was not until his daughter-in-law conceived a child that Zhao Feng told his family that he had been married two years ago.
I was so surprised that I didn't bother to accuse him of taking care of his daughter-in-law after cleaning up.
Zhao Feng refused, saying they could handle it on their own.
I am still a little nervous, for fear that if I do not take care of my pregnant daughter-in-law, I will be hated in the future.
Today's girls say that when they are pregnant, their mother-in-law does not take care of them, and when they are old, they will not provide for their mother-in-law.
Zhao Feng joked that I was old-fashioned, saying that he would open his mouth when he needed my help.
when my granddaughter was born, Lao Zhao and I went to Germany.
but only half a month later, Chao Po-Tao left first, saying that he was uncomfortable living there.
I stayed to take care of the children and wanted to help my son. It was only when I realized that my son's salary was high in China, and that he was barely enough to spend here, and the cost of living was too high.
my daughter-in-law is very polite to me, to the point of rusty and indifferent.
when I was cleaning, I went into my son's room to mop the floor, and my daughter-in-law calmly said that she should respect her privacy.
my granddaughter's daughter-in-law weaned when she was only two months old. I advised her to feed her for another period of time. My daughter-in-law said angrily that no one had the right to interfere with her.
although my daughter-in-law is also Chinese, II heard my son and daughter-in-law quarreling in English several times, obviously for fear that I would listen.
when the two young people spoke to me, they opened their mouths freely and kept their mouths shut. I lived like walking on thin ice every day, for fear that one of them might step on the mine again.
when my granddaughter was two years old, my daughter-in-law sent her granddaughter to a parenting institution similar to early education and politely "invited" me back to China.
after that, people asked when Lao Zhao and I would go to Germany for retirement, and we could only smile and not talk.
but we all know that our son and daughter-in-law do as the Romans do in foreign countries, and their living habits and concepts have nothing to do with us, and we are not welcome to disturb them.
We used to use our pension to subsidize our son, but now we all use it to arrange our own life.
We travel twice a year, and when we have time, we play chess, fish and dance with our old friends, making the surrounding old men and women red with envy by the dusty old men and women with their grandchildren.
more than ten years later, Zhao Feng only came back twice, and each time he was in a hurry, staying at home for two days like a trip, and his daughter-in-law and granddaughter never came back once.
at that time, I thought it was good for my son to be promising. I couldn't cut off his wings and not let him fly just because he wanted to be with him.
but now when Lao Zhao is ill, I panic. If something happens to Lao Zhao, how can I live alone?
my nephew accompanied my couple to Beijing, where he was busy booking a hotel, booking registration and paying for medicine.
I am secretly glad that my nephew followed me. The crowded flow at the door of the hospital alone gave me a headache, not to mention having to make an online appointment when I entered the hospital, and the machine paid for the medicine intelligently.
the development of science and technology is a good thing, but it is really unfriendly to me, an old man who is almost 70 years old.
Lao Zhao's examination results showed that it was diagnosed as advanced liver cancer.
I cried again to avoid Lao Zhao. After crying, I called my son. My son asked for leave and came back. After staying for three days, he left in a hurry, saying that the work was really busy.
when he left, he left a message telling me to let the doctor use the best medicine and not to worry about money.
I tried desperately to bite my lower lip to hold back the resentment stuck in my throat. I knew that money could buy back his father's life.
Lao Zhao is skinny by radiotherapy and chemotherapy, but his health is still getting worse day by day.
the doctor sighs that he can eat whatever he wants and do whatever he wants. Treatment is meaningless.
Lao Zhao took me by the hand. He could no longer speak, but he still squeezed out a few words intermittently with a single breath.
I put my ear to listen and heard him say that he was worried about me.
I burst into tears. When I was young, I devoted myself to my son. When I was old, I found that Lao Zhao was the one who could accompany me for the longest time.
my son is promising, he flies far away, and he doesn't take care of me anymore.
I took Lao Zhao back to his hometown hospital and told my son about his situation. My son finally came back by plane.
when Lao Zhao saw his son, tears came from his muddy eyes, and his mouth trembled with excitement.
but Zhao Feng was restless after only two days, and he kept calling one after another.
early on the morning of the third day, Zhao Fengzhi hesitated and suggested that he was going back, and there was a mistake in his work.
I got angry and scolded, "are you expecting your father to leave early these two days?" Otherwise, I'm sorry you came back specially. Is it important to make money or your father? If you earn a few days less, you can't live? "
Zhao Feng said awkwardly, "Mom, it's not easy for me either."
I cried. I never regretted lifting my son so high and so far that he could no longer be relied on by his parents.
I know that when my son goes to that height, he can't help it, but in the face of life and death, I really need someone to give me spiritual support.
after Zhao Feng left, I dared not leave the hospital. Although I had a nurse to take care of me, I was afraid that if I was a flash, Lao Zhao would be gone.
the two nephews, afraid that I would spoil my health, spontaneously let go of the family and took turns to keep a vigil for Lao Zhao.
I know that they are all self-employed and earn only one day by opening a shop. I don't know how to express my gratitude. I can only give them money.
both nephews refused, saying it was what they should do.
I remember that at first my parents said that these two nephews were mud that could not support the wall, but now I would rather my son is mud, at least to accompany my parents for the last trip.
Lao Zhao left a few days later, and at three o'clock in the morning, when he looked back at the last minute, he was still staring at the door, his eyes full of expectation.
I know he's still waiting for his son to show up, but he's doomed to be disappointed.
the moment Lao Zhao went, he may have been psychologically prepared, but I didn't have much sadness.
Zhao Feng came back during the funeral, but his daughter-in-law and granddaughter still did not show up, and I was chilled again.
with the help of two nephews, I handled the affairs of Lao Zhao and settled his ashes in the cemetery.
after the burial of Lao Zhao, Zhao Feng shook hands with my sister's family one by one, thanking them for taking care of their parents, but said nothing about how to settle me.
when the family gathered for dinner that night, Zhao Fengcai opened his mouth embarrassed, saying that he was watching the scenery abroad, but in fact, supporting a family was no different from supporting a house at home, and it was not easy.
at last he turned around and said that his mother had been taken care of by his two cousins.
I was dumbfounded by his shamelessness. With a light remark, he left the responsibility of providing for the aged to others.
after Zhao Feng left, I went to see Lao Zhao and sat in front of the tombstone nagging. I envied that Zhao could walk ahead, or at least I could wait on him for the last paragraph.
sometimes death is not terrible, and those who survive are the saddest.
my sister picked me up to live with me, and the two sisters were daily companions. On weekends, two nephews came back with their wives and children for dinner. The house was full of children's laughter and fireworks.
I love this kind of hustle and bustle so much that I give pocket money when I see my children.
I have pension, social security and commercial serious illness insurance. I can't spend much money on weekdays.
money is like waste paper to me. People are afraid of being lonely when they are old.
after a few years like this, my sister also died of illness, and the three members of Zhao Feng and his family returned home for the funeral.
my granddaughter is already a big girl, fashionably dressed and full of foreign languages, so she doesn't fit in with this small village.
I really can't get close to her, so I can only politely greet her to eat this and that.
the food was arranged by my nephew's wife. I remember that Zhao Feng liked to eat Marinated Egg and specially cooked more than a dozen.
when the granddaughter reached for Marinated Egg, her daughter-in-law gave a sharp look, patted her hand hard, and glared at me again.
my heart trembled. I'm not stupid. I can see that my daughter-in-law hates me and the food I cook.
when I talked to my son in the evening, I was a little puzzled and said, "when your own father died, your wife and children didn't come back. Why did you all come to show filial piety when your aunt died?"
my son was a little embarrassed: "at that time, the situation was special, and your daughter-in-law happened to have a miscarriage, so it was difficult to run around." My aunt and two cousins have been very kind to you these years. I am very grateful for their kindness. "
I feel better, even though he has a conscience.
Zhao Feng stayed longer this time, but his family stayed in the county hotel, and it was not easy for me to meet him.
after a few days, there was a rumor in the village that the old village would be demolished.
my ancestral house is within the scope of demolition, and the amount of compensation should be considerable according to the area of my house and the number of ornamental tree species behind the house.
I was stunned by the unexpected delight and jolted a little to find out whether it was true or not.
the old neighborhood said to me jubilantly:
Don't worry, it's only the last few days.
your Zhao Feng and I are classmates in high school. We are friends. We have been in touch all the time. I even mentioned it to him!
it was as if I had been hit hard and asked subconsciously, "Zhao Feng knew about this?"
he nodded positively.
I went home out of my mind, and I felt that I was stepping on cotton on the soles of my feet.
I finally realized that my son's return to China is not for my sister's funeral. His family is clearly looking for compensation for demolition.
A week later, the demolition documents were issued to the village.
Zhao Feng was beaming with delight, and the family of three came to discuss with me the compensation for demolition.
I said that I can get three houses equally according to the area. I want the house, free of charge.
Zhao Feng froze and said, "Mom, you live by yourself. why do you need so many houses?"
I glanced at him: "I'm too old to keep the money in the palm of my hand. I must have a house." I live in one apartment and charge rent for the other two. "
Zhao Feng shrank his neck awkwardly and said that he had his eye on a project recently and wanted to invest, but he was short of funds.
he asked me if I could take the compensation instead of the house and transfer the money to him first.
although I had been prepared for a long time, I was hurt by his righteous attitude.
I looked at him sadly:
your father and I raised you so much, no matter how hard it is, we have never treated you badly. We thought you were promising, and we had something to rely on, but your father didn't lean on you until he died, and your wife and children didn't even show up for his funeral.
your father has been gone for more than ten years, and it is your two cousins who take care of me. You never want to settle me down at all. Now that your family is shy and come back to pick my money, are you ashamed of it?
Zhao Feng did not expect that I would be so crisp that I directly tore off his face and was immediately stabbed and startled.
the daughter-in-law, with a sullen face, got up angrily and pulled her granddaughter out of the door.
I don't care about these. Some words have been held in my heart for many years, and I feel much more comfortable when I say them all.
my heart used to be hot, but I was treated coldly by my son day after day, and slowly became cold.
once upon a time, I thought my son had gone abroad and learned the bad habits of indifference from foreigners.
now I realize that my son is selfish.
he talked to his parents about human rights and freedom, and also believed in not providing old-age support for his parents.
but when he needs his parents to contribute money and efforts, he hopes to follow the domestic tradition and hope that his parents can treat him with all their hearts.
in the final analysis, he did not go abroad to be brainwashed, but his roots have long been spoiled.
I regret that I only focused on the study of my child, but did not cultivate his good character, so that I ended up in a desolate evening.
in the presence of the village committee, I made a will and notarized it. After my death, two of the three apartments were left to two nephews, and the other was donated to Project Hope.
Zhao Feng played the bitter card and said nice things, but I wouldn't budge an inch.
he could only slam the door angrily without looking back.
it seems that he left behind a rag that is no longer useful, rather than his own mother.
Step into unbelievable deals of black cocktail dresses. At Adoringdress.com we want your shopping experience to be easy and fun.
two nephews reassured me.It is said that even if they do not leave property to them, they will give me an old age.
but instead of staying at my nephew's house, I cleaned up and went to a nursing home.
my sister is gone, and I'm not my nephew's mother. Although I have kinship, I don't want to burn it out ahead of time.
I am satisfied that they can often come to the nursing home to see me and take care of me when I am seriously ill.
I don't know how long I will live. I have a house and pension in my hand, all kinds of insurance, and my nephew. I shouldn't have a bad life in a nursing home.
at least it's better than giving all your possessions to that unreliable son, and then nothing else.
I also want to remind you through my own experience that this person, even as a parent, can't be too selfless.
because of your selflessness, you will raise your child's selfishness and make him take it for granted even if he sucks you dry and squeezes you out.
the end result is not the happiness of the family, the filial piety of the mother and the son, but a pat and a break up, chickens flying and dogs jumping.