May all girls be "selfish" and strong.
not long ago, the tragedy of a 29-year-old woman jumping off a building and falling to her death with a pair of children broke out, which stung the hearts of countless netizens.
the suicide note left by the deceased is full of blood and tears, which people can't bear to read:
"I am sorry to my parents, I have no face to see them, I leave this home, but can not leave the children, so I chose this road, this is the best place to go."
the deceased's two children, one is 4 years old, the other is not yet 2 years old. Some netizens sighed: "the child is so innocent, why take the child to do such a stupid thing?"
later, the police said in a notice that the woman committed suicide by jumping off a building with her children because of family conflicts and emotional discord between husband and wife.
what on earth is the irreconcilable family conflict that caused this young mother to give up the hope of giving birth?
the incident of falling from a building is undoubtedly a tragedy, and the reasons behind the tragedy deserve our deep consideration. In marriage, this 3.1
be sure to recognize it as soon as possible!
what really crushes a marriage is the husband's indifferent sidelines
there is a classic question on Zhihu: is the life of middle-aged women miserable?
the most popular answer is:
"when I wake up at three o'clock in the morning, it is easy to get up at night after giving birth, lie in a quiet night, and unwittingly burst into tears.
I wish someone could help wipe away my tears, but no, my parents are old, their children are older, and my lover treats me colder.
in fact, the most difficult thing in marriage is not endless washing bowls, endless dragging ground, and some complicated details, but that all your efforts are not understood or seen.
A netizen on Weibo shared my mother's daily routine:
get up at 7 o'clock, make breakfast, and even squeeze toothpaste for Dad;
8 o'clock, prepare clothes for Dad and see him out;
get everything you need for lunch ready at 9 o'clock and wash up and go to work.
get off work to buy vegetables at 18:00 and go home to cook;
20:00 to wash clothes, wash dishes, clean corners and corners until going to bed at night.
when netizens asked Dad why he didn't help, Dad unexpectedly said confidently:
"I'm tired after a day's work at work! Isn't it all your mother's job? Besides, my father transfers money on time every month to subsidize his family. "
I didn't expect that it was this "my job" that broke my mother's heart and decided to divorce my father.
after the divorce, my father was very unconvinced at first and kept nagging that the old woman had a good time and didn't know how to cherish it. He left her and was appointed to live a more natural life.
as a result, my father made a mess of his day after living alone for less than half a year.
there is always a pile of pots and pans in the trough;
smelly socks, dirty clothes are even more crowded with clothes baskets;
too lazy to cook, ordered takeout to eat the body three high, and finally suffered from stomach trouble, was admitted to the hospital.
it wasn't until he was in the hospital that Dad realized that behind his brilliance these years, there was a woman who worked hard.
what really crushes a marriage is always the husband's indifferent sidelines.
he can't hear what you say, and he can't see what you do. You always do housework alone, help children with homework alone, and go to see a doctor alone even if you are sick.
as the saying goes: the leaves do not turn yellow day by day, and the hearts of the people do not cool in one day.
if the person you are looking forward to spending the rest of your life with has been indifferent to you, does not know how to protect you from the wind and rain, and does not know how to pity you, then the deep love will inevitably fade away.
in marriage, the last thing a woman needs is to be sensible
I have seen such a topic: what is it like to be a "sensible" woman?
there is a comment at the bottom:
sensible women, no matter how much grievances they have suffered, will be tolerant of pretending to be indifferent;
No matter how sad you feel, you will quietly say, "I'm fine";
I think so.
Ms. Yang in the fall is what everyone calls a "sensible" woman.
according to Ms. Yang's best friend, "she is a person who reports the good news but not the bad news. Family conflicts are usually told to friends, not to the family, for fear that the family will worry."
the neighbor said frankly: "the two children are basically brought up by Ms. Yang alone, and I have never seen my parents-in-law come to help with the children."
her mother also revealed in the interview: "the daughter has been at home to take care of the children, there is no income, the child is sick, asked her son-in-law for money, but was beaten."
I really feel sorry for her sensibility and bear everything silently and alone, but it is a pity that the bitterness and suffering behind it are not understood.
perhaps as psychologist Wu Zhihong said, "being sensible is actually a kind of deep despair."
everyone thinks that women should be sensible and virtuous, especially when they marry and become mothers. But few people can understand that in marriage, the last thing a woman needs is sensibility.
you make vegetable soup yourself for him to wash his hands, but also let him learn to wash dishes; you can do housework, but he should also pay the same amount of work;
you can keep your family life in order, but he should also understand that it is not easy for you.
virtuous and virtuous is not the only criterion for judging women, on the contrary, your sensibility,Your efforts should be left to someone worthy of trust.
instead of reaching out for money, it is better to have your own money
Go for the fashionable princess prom dresses only at a cheap and affordable price. Stop searching from over-priced retailers and buy now.
her friend Keiko worked as an executive in a company before her marriage, and her salary was not high. Her husband urged her to resign: "stop it, I'll support you."
Keiko really quit her job, and her husband gave her his salary card that month.
but gradually, this "nourishment" seems to have changed. From time to time, her husband accused Huizi of spending money indiscriminately, and the two often quarreled, so Huizi was full of grievances.
when she went shopping last weekend, Keiko saw a 50% discount at the mall and thought that she had no skin care products for the rest of the season, so she bought a set of skin care products, and then more than 300 bills went to her husband.
Keiko, who thought he had picked up a big bargain and was going to share it with her husband happily, suddenly received a call from her husband.
Keiko explained that the discount in the mall is very cost-effective, which is more than half cheaper than usual, and these daily skin care things are really impossible to save, so her husband is angry, but he is still aggrieved.
Keiko feels aggrieved:
"although I don't go to work, I manage the life of my family. I try my best to hire a babysitter in the morning and night.
not to mention the children's money for milk powder, the insurance for the elderly, and all kinds of human relations. Every pile costs money. I'm not hiding my own money.
in the eyes of my husband, I just don't know how to live, spend money all day, and don't see my hard work for this family at all. "
Keiko's story reminds me of the TV series "the first half of my Life".
male master Chen Junsheng, who also earns NT $1 million a year, said that he would support Luo Zijun for the rest of his life and make her feel at ease as a housewife.
simple Luo Zijun also thought that "family is everything." he made all his efforts, but he was rejected by Chen Junsheng for being ignorant and ignorant. He only knew how to buy and buy all day long.
all the "gifts" of fate have already secretly marked the price.
the experiences of Keiko and Luo Zijun deserve every girl's vigilance.
most of the time, women understand that "support" is that you can afford my life, while men just want to find a free babysitter for their own life.
you know, marriage just gives you a few more roles in your life, it's not a long-term meal ticket once and for all.
Don't easily cling to your partner, either financially or spiritually. Only as an independent individual can you not be afraid of the thunder of life and the storms of the future.
May all girls love themselves well and become "selfish" and strong in their chicken-feathered life.
even if you encounter bad people and bad things, don't lose heart to yourself. please believe that the sufferings of the past will disappear.
you want to be a kapok standing in the wind, confident and bold to live the life you want.
if you are calm and optimistic, you will certainly meet the right person to accompany you to share the cold wave, wind and thunder, thunder, mist, haze and rainbow.