Communicating in advance is also a kind of responsibility for each other's feelings.
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Zhou Guoping once said:
"Love is the treasure of life, when we use the ship of marriage to carry the treasure of love;
our mission is to avoid the reef as far as possible, avoid the wind and waves, and reach our destination safely.
whoever deliberately goes up against the wind and waves can have the pleasure of adventure, but it also shows that he does not cherish the treasures in the ship. "
any setback encountered in love is a signal of emotional problems, which should be predicted and solved in time.
Uncle has sorted out 15 questions, which are common problems in marriage. The sooner you get to know each other, the more conducive to the development of your relationship.
questions about the house
Housing has always been an issue that Chinese people attach great importance to when they get married. If you think about it in advance, there will be less disputes and troubles in the future.In which city do you live and settle down? How are you going to buy a house? How much is the budget for the house? Do you accept living with your parents? Do you need parents to support you to buy a house? How do I sign the property certificate?
which style and layout are you going to use in decorating the house?
if it is a long-distance relationship, is one party willing to leave the city where he or she lives now?
is the location of buying a house closer to the parents' home, or is it closer to the work location and the children's school location?All these will affect the future life and travel, children's school, old-age problems and so on.
questions about children
do we have children for each other? About when do you want it?
because sometimes, two people want to have children at different times and plans, so they have to agree in advance whether they can reach an agreement or not.
if you have a baby, who will take care of the baby at work? What are the educational ideas of the two children? Gentle education or tiger and wolf education? Do you want to go to cram school or interest class? What if parents get involved and educate each other in different ways?
after having children, marriage becomes more complicated and needs to be worried about in all aspects.
many people have children after marriage, only to find that they have different ideas, which leads to frequent quarrels, which will directly affect the healthy growth of their children and is not conducive to the development of their relationship.
Family problems of both parties
every family has its own difficulties. Marriage is a matter between two families, and you must know each other's family in advance.
are we fully aware of each other's family conditions and problems? What is the most annoying and unbearable thing in the other family? How to solve?
what is the parents' attitude towards their marriage? Have you met your expectations? Can you get enough support and blessing from them?
bottom line, issues of principle
can't accept what the other party does? Such as cheating, domestic violence, quitting after marriage, doing housework at home, taking care of children and so on.
to what extent can you accept each other's relationship with the opposite sex? Do you accept the other person's mental or physical infidelity?
what price do you have to pay if you have an affair?
Marriage is a very serious matter, and you must be responsible to each other, so you should be clear about your bottom line and principles before getting married.
can you accept each other's friends
to understand each other's circle of friends, what do friends like to do at parties, what is the character of friends, what are the values?Do we like and respect each other's friends? Are you willing to introduce your friends to each other?
know that birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups, the other person always likes to make friends, but also represents what kind of person the other person is.
each other's spiritual needs
it is crucial to understand each other's deepest spiritual needs and beliefs. What do you need each other most? What's your hobby? What kind of support do you need from each other?
now the relationship is no longer like that of my parents, just to make a living together and meet the needs of survival.
what our generation needs emotionally is a deeper level of spiritual empathy and understanding when it is materially satisfied.
consumption concepts of both parties
after marriage, it is two people who form a small family. If the concept of consumption and savings are different, it is difficult to live in harmony.
some people are of the Yueguang clan, who are used to spending a lot of money and pursuing material comforts, while others will be careful and not only have a balance, but also make their life happy.
to know in advance the other party's concept of money distribution and savings after marriage.
for example, what is the salary of two people? How much does it cost to eat? How much is spent on entertainment? How much do I have to deposit in a month? How much is the current expenditure?
how to allocate the children's expenses in the future? How do parents support their parents when they are old? Do both parents have a pension?
Future career development plan
what do you pursue for your own requirements in your career?
to what extent do you want a promotion and salary increase, the number of overtime, business trips, whether you want to go to other places for development, and so on.
Sanmao once said: "Love will not last long if it does not fall into the real life of dressing, eating, sleeping and counting money."
everyone has their own unique habits, and after marriage, they should be more tolerant and tolerant.Accept each other's living habits.
what are the things you can't tolerate in the face of each other's habits? Be sure to speak out to avoid greater contradictions in the future.
for example, the opinions on keeping pets, the taste of eating, whether to snore when sleeping, how to turn on the air conditioner when sleeping, what are the hygiene habits and so on.
Disease history of both parties
the history of diseases includes physical diseases, psychological and mental diseases.
is there a congenital family hereditary disease? Have you ever had an operation?
attention should be paid to some major diseases that are contagious and hereditary, and must be communicated and informed in advance.
if you have ever had a psychological or mental illness, you should also be honest, otherwise the other person will find out after marriage and will feel cheated.
know each other's experiences
there is a saying: "if you know my past, then you will understand my present."
do you know each other well?
try to understand each other's character, experience, things that have the greatest impact, interests, etc., it will be easier to understand and tolerate each other.
attitude towards betrothal gifts
some time ago, there was often news that couples did not get married because of betrothal gifts.
so it is necessary to sit down calmly and talk about the bride price before marriage, so as to avoid the unhappiness of both families when the bride price is really needed before marriage.
discuss the definition of betrothal gift between the two sides, the local custom, parents' opinions on how to give betrothal gift, and their own opinions, and balance the ideas of both sides, and negotiate a solution that everyone is satisfied with.
do you have the confidence to overcome the difficulties in the future
quarrelling is an ability, while problem solving is a superpower.
can you communicate well when you quarrel at ordinary times? Can you listen to each other carefully and then treat each other's thoughts and complaints well?
are you confident in your marriage and willing to accept any challenges and move forward?
will you be willing to learn, reflect and change yourself for the sake of each other?
handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
many families break up their relationship between husband and wife because of the bad relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and the inaction of the husband.
it is necessary to know in advance the character of the mother-in-law and whether she is friendly to the woman. Do you like to interfere in two people's lives?
also ask your boyfriend what he will do if there is a relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
who is in charge of the family
it is up to the boys and the girls to decide which things in the family.
there are too many moments to make decisions in marriage, ranging from buying a house and a car to cooking, doing housework and helping children with their homework.
who will do the housework? Who will wash the dishes?
do you want to divide the work or ask your parents for help, or do you want to work part-time?
Today's society is not like in the past, men dominate the outside and women dominate the interior, and many women still have their own careers, so when both people go to work, things at home must be properly distributed.
some people say: "Love should be really based on a solid foundation of real life, otherwise, it is a fruitless flower blooming on the tree of living life."
Adult love is not romantic, but a mixture of work, mortgage, car loan, parents, family, marriage and feelings.
find a good time to discuss these 15 issues with your partner. I believe you will get to know each other better and plan for the future more clearly.
Marriage is not like falling in love, you can enjoy it carefree. Marriage has a lot of things to consider and a lot of responsibilities to bear, so try your best to communicate these issues before marriage.
if the differences are too big to be resolved, stop the loss in time and avoid getting divorced after getting married and having children. If it can be tolerated or resolved, then take the initiative to take action, and you will reap good feelings.
talk about love for a little while, just to be vigorous and unforgettable;
later said that love, are all light, long flow of water.
if you love, please love seriously. Communicating in advance is also a kind of responsibility for each other's feelings.
as the saying in Big Fish Begonia:
"you might as well be bold, love someone, climb a mountain, and chase a dream."
, may there be not only love in your marriage, but also tacit understanding and unswerving affection that understand that you are not easy to cherish.