Marriage is a cooperation.
sow Lin Jinglang
some time ago, my best friend and I talked about her uncle and aunt, the two 140-year-old people, who were actually separated.
the cause was that my uncle caught a cold and was lying in bed asking for an apple. The aunt washed it and handed it over. I don't know where the uncle got the evil fire. The strange wife didn't peel him, so he probably peeled it every time, so he threw it away.
in a fit of anger, my aunt packed up her things and went to her daughter's house, leaving her uncle alone, saying that she would never see him again in this life, but only to live in a nursing home.
I said that the old lady has a big temper. I learned this from Zhen Huan Zhuan, and I will never see each other again.
my friend said, "you don't know, my uncle went to work when he was young, and then he started his own business. At a good time, he made a lot of money. My aunt was in a recession and was laid off, and the whole family was supported by my uncle."
when my uncle had money in his hand, he was fooling around outside, and his aunt dared not quarrel when she knew about it, for fear of affecting the children.
but the more patient he is, the more grumpy his uncle is, the more he thinks she is easy to bully, scolding her eight-generation ancestors for every disagreement, and even taking action if he is in a hurry.
however, my uncle found that my aunt has become more and more disobedient in recent years.
she no longer asked him for advice on cooking, but did it according to her own taste. My uncle was picky several times and was pushed back: if you like it or not, you can cook it yourself.
Uncle has long been accustomed to being an uncle, and he doesn't know how to cook. In the past, his wife did what he wanted, but now his wife eats whatever he wants. The status of the two people in the family has gradually undergone subtle changes.
if the uncle can stop messing around for a while, the old couple will go on like this, after all, they have endured for a lifetime, and they will not go to divorce.
but the "Apple incident" became a fuse, and my aunt remembered the account of her grievances for most of her life, and gave it to him one by one, so that his uncle didn't say a word.
finally, the aunt left and said that she would go to the nursing home to stay with her daughter for a while. She would no longer wait on her uncle and would not listen to anyone's advice, and her heart would be chilled.
in fact, couples who have no feelings all their lives can be found everywhere.
not all people grow old together, it is an enviable marriage.
Last year, a couple who had been married for 57 years and even had to make a kitchen knife got divorced.
it is said that the two have been in this situation in their marriage for nearly 50 years. They often quarrel with each other, even fight fiercely, call the police many times, and sue for divorce several times, but end up with various reasons.
husband and wife live in a separate room, everything is clearly divided, yours is yours, mine is mine.
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this true story doesn't make me laugh, it just feels horrible.
50 years, half a century, the lives of the two have been in vain.
in the interview, the old man was plausible, accusing his wife, oh no, of all kinds of bad things about his ex-wife.
I feel very sad. When a woman marries you, you even want to AA her kitchen knife with her. Can she still be kind to you? how stupid it is that you have spent your whole life and others' time doing so.
you argue with her all day long, you win a woman but lose your marriage, what do you want to get married for?
if you regard marriage as a battlefield, the harvest must be a mess, and if you regard marriage as an ashram, it will be a spiritual practice of common growth.
Ten years ago, a female reader named Ye sent me an email. She said:
my husband and I work in the same old enterprise, and our children have just entered kindergarten. Although the work is easy, the pay is good.
but I still want to resign and start my own business. I am a little unwilling to take advantage of my youth to run my own business.
I replied that you should consider this matter yourself, of course, you should first consult your husband. After all, you spend a lot of money in the initial stage of starting a business, and you may have to rely on him to support it, and what if you lose it?
after all, you two are the community with a shared future, sharing good and bad fortune.
Ye said that her husband thought of all this and asked her to let go and do what she liked. He went all out to support her.
after Wechat, Leaf and I added friends to each other. We hardly talked at ordinary times, but got a general understanding of her situation through her circle of friends.
after Ye resigned, she started a trading company by herself. Although she looked very hard, everything went well. She was often seen traveling all over the world, always like a fighter with high morale.
however, when she is at home, she becomes a lover of her husband, and her moments are full of compliments about her husband, saying that the food her husband cooks is so delicious, the way her husband helps the children with homework is so charming that the man does all the housework.
Leaf chatted with me before the Spring Festival.
she said that the efficiency of her husband's unit was getting worse and worse, and she had quit her job to come to the company to help her.
half a year ago, her family moved to the newly bought Daping floor, decorating and buying furniture were done by her husband, she was only responsible for living, .
in this beautiful marriage story, what some people see is the ability of the wife, but the love of the man behind is the source of the leaf's motivation.
the temperature of a man not only determines the sweetness of marriage.Also decided the amount of marriage (rich), men's pay, there is no loss at all.
and Aunt Su Min, who became popular some time ago, is 56 years old and has been married to her husband for 30 years.
she usually spends money on AA, but she takes care of the children and does housework. Men break things and even hit people when they disagree.
in order to give her child a complete home, she endured it again and again until her daughter's child went to kindergarten, and she could finally breathe a sigh of relief.
she said: I want to drive out. I want to travel alone.
she escaped from her marriage in an installment car and went all the way south to videotape and share the details of her trip.
there is a lot of despair and pain of married women in her body, which has aroused the sympathy of many people.
her experience is equivalent to a time when Nora ran away, but there is a good chance that Nora will come back after she runs away, because she cannot survive.
but Su Min is different. She has a job and income, and does not depend on that man for a living, so the choice is in her hands for the rest of the marriage.
although she said she would go back to live with a man, she would not get divorced.
but I think the prerequisite must be that a man can realize that he has hurt his wife and make up for it with the rest of his life. Maybe it's not too late.
if marriage is a cooperation, then the smartest investment for a man is to love his wife, and your kindness to your wife will eventually return to yourself.
after all, there are more happy women, more happy marriages.